My wife suddenly told me she didn’t want to be married anymore. We were together almost 10 years. She had 3 kids that I loved and I considered them mine as well as I don’t have any other kids. She had bought another home without telling me. I have not seen heard or talked to her or the kids since she left. She never filed for divorce but I ended up doing it after about a month of her leaving and she dropped my health insurance. I have been completely devastated.
I’m not saying that we had the best marriage in the world. We had problems and arguments like all relationships do I imagine. We also had some difficulties with the blended family aspect.
I would’ve never of left her or the kids. I can’t seem to get over her and missing the kids. Every date I go on just makes me miss my wife so much. It will be a year this coming November since she left.
Heart broken man
6 comments
I’m so sorry, OP. That was really low of her to be plotting all of this behind your back, especially considering you were attached to those children. She didn’t care about your feelings or theirs. She already yanked them from one father, and now she has done it again. Just terrible behavior for a mother and so traumatic for these children. Maybe when they are adults they are old enough, they will reach out to you and you can reconnect.
I think when you are thinking of her, you have to stop thinking of her as the person you thought she was and start thinking of her as the person she is. Someone who had no issue with ripping your heart out and severing your ties with these children. She is a selfish person and isn’t worthy of your love. You are putting her on a pedestal instead of recognizing that she is a broken and heartless person. You tried your best, but she betrayed you.
I don’t know how to make you miss her less, but maybe you aren’t ready to date yet and that’s OK. Maybe you need a support group? I know it sounds cheesy, but you are not the only one that this happened to or is struggling to adjust. Maybe being in a group of people who also experienced something similar will help you. Therapy is another option. No one can say how long it takes to heal from something like this, but maybe therapy individually or in a group could help get you unstuck?
Man I hear you.
My wife left me, but for different reasons. Hurt like buggery.
Dating within a year of separation? It sounds like you’re still mourning the loss of your marriage. Maybe take some time to process and heal.
Best of luck.
Man, either she cannot have a good thing and self sabotages everything or..
You created an unbearable living environment and she believed that she had no viable way to tell you she was leaving without her thinking you would lash out in a unreasonable manner.
or the third option, kinda aligns with option one. she found someone new and thought the grass is greener on the other side(usually not)
One thing is for certain, you know which one of these it is. Regardless, your only option is to honor her choice, grieve for a few, sharpen yourself and your way of living. Glow up and enjoy the fruits of your pain and suffering growing from the dirt into something beautiful.
If, you don’t let it take you out. (don’t)
Past is the past now, whats done is done. Do not chase her and do not allow her to double back on her decision if she regrets it. become 10x better and do it because you deserve it, learn from this.
I hear you man,
Mine did the same in June, 10 years married and we have 3 kids. Like you it’s been like 4-5 month and she has not filed for divorce. We can only do so much to save our family but when a women checks out that’s it. This is a blessing trust me find what made you happy 10 years ago. Don’t mess up this blessing trying to fix things with your ex. I promise it gets better.
How old are you? And if she had been doing what’s she’s doing from the beginning she was never the one. As well as the fact that it kinda of seems like she used you for sex, don’t play into that because all she wants to do is build you up to crush you again I’m speaking from experience. Yes I know I myself am young but that shit doesn’t stop me from knowing, don’t talk to her for a few months, trust me it turned my life around!
Be grateful that you can make a clean break without any kids.
Take some time and mourn then it’s onwards and upwards