I have been dating the same woman for the last two years. I love her and think she is amazing but the sex with her is not the best sex of my life and I have tried to improve it but it doesn’t work. Is marrying a person who is not the best sex of your life a bad idea ?

13 comments

1. There’s more to life and marriage than sex. If sex is all you care about, or even if sex is the top thing you care about, I’d suggest reevaluating your expectations for a relationship and maybe go to counseling (couples or individual).

2. It’s not about the sex, it’s about the level of regret or misgiving you’re carrying into the relationship.

   Sounds like a lot. Might want to discuss that.

3. What else is wrong? I made the mistake of getting into marriage with someone who didn’t care about my pleasure. So it sucked most of the time. Only recently is it better but that’s another story. If the frequency and passion isn’t there then maybe there are deeper issues at hand. Go to therapy together and work it out.

4. It depend how much you value sex in a relationship and in your life.

   You could also try to explore and communicate more with your partner, perhaps with a couple / sex therapist.

   For me, it was a given that I was going to date someone kinky, I never would have been able to date someone that is completely vanilla. We currently have a dungeon in our basement, that’s something I’m glad to have had the opportunity to explore.

   But other people are fine with other type of activities. It’s a very personal question.

5. Best sex of your life or fuck marriage! That’s incredible pressure to put on someone…

   It could be great sex and a fantastic relationship and it could grow into the best sex of your life.

   Or you could have the best sex of your life, get married and end up hating each other.

6. My guy: your question is impossible to answer if you’re not providing us with more detail about what exactly is missing from the sex you’re having with your girlfriend. I highly recommend you edit your post and include that

7. Not a bad idea at all. As long as you are both willing and able to communicate and try, it will get better. And if you have years to practice, who knows, it may eventually become the best!

8. I don’t get why don’t you enjoy sex with your girl instead of ranking your sex partners.

   You won’t be able to eat the best kebab if you don’t go to Turkey. Will you complain about eating Kebab in the US just because it’s not the best?

9. If the best sex of your life is your bar then you should still be with that person. You broke up for a reason which tells you the best sex may not be the best person for you.

   As someone else says, sex with your partner can get better and become the best sex…

   If that’s the most important thing for you when deciding about marriage, maybe you shouldn’t get married?

10. It depends on how important sex is to you. If you can sacrifice that because of your love for this person, then it shouldn’t be an issue.

11. If someone is the right person to spend your life with, then average sex is not a big price to pay, especially when good sex is a learned skill that can improve.

    There is so much more to life than sex and older folks will tell you that sex lives will change, hormones change, people even become crippled or have strokes.

    Assuming even fabulous sex will always be there or the same is naive.

    I would bank on the larger picture and keep sex as an moorland but not game breaking element.

12. The person you marry doesn’t have to be the best in the world at sex or even the best among people you’ve slept with, just like they don’t have to be the prettiest or richest or skinniest or smartest or funniest. But the combination of features that you care about should make this the person you most want to spend your life with. And as you invest time and love into your partner, they will become, increasingly, the single most important person to you and vice-versa.

13. The frustration of the bad/mediocre sex is going to bleed over into the marriage. Try and fix it early