Hello,
Me (32M) and my GF(29F), both from Delhi, India are seeing each other since April, 2023. We met once in April, went out for drinks and then our conversations started.
Moving forward we both confessed our love last month and are now going to a small vacation.
But I came to know that all the time we had been meeting and kissing and flirting, she had been active with her ex, who is married, sexually at least once a month, until we both confessed our love to one another. And I am even not sure about that now.
Now I don’t know what to do, whether I dump her, or am I thinking too much and it does not matter since I had not committed to her until recently.
I feel like she just agreed with my love confession last month because her ex stopped meeting her since he is married. Even if we have sex she must be thinking about him therefore, I don’t know what to do now.
TLDR;
My(M32) girlfriend (29f) had been sexually active with her married ex until I confessed my love last month? Is this cheating? I am heartbroken?
If this is cheating, then
Should I even be having sex with her? I haven’t had sex with anyone before.
Shall I leave her silently after meeting up once?
or absolutely destroy her for breaking my heart?
My hear has been beating faster since 2 days and I feel like crying
34 comments
Not to stereotype you, but please don’t be one of those guys who happily takes abuse from the first woman that gives you attention.
Terrible, yes if you agreed previously you have a relationship she is cheating and next to that also destroying her ex marriage. Ofcourse that comes from both sides but my recommendation is to end it directly and be open for a new love. Goodluck and all the blessings.
100% cheating. I would cut contact with her immediately.
She’s for the streets.
The fact that she was sleeping with a married ex is a red flag whether you were officially exclusive or not.
If she’d gone on dates with other people, it would be a bit different. Maybe it could have been some miscommunication/misunderstanding that got her thinking you weren’t exclusive (even if that’s what you understood). But a *married ex*? That shows she doesn’t respect commitments in general and that she’s not ready for a relationship.
Live now or pay the price
Just walk away and say nothing.
She won’t care tbh
Just causes you needless stress to even engage in that mess.
If y’all weren’t exclusively before now, she couldn’t be cheating.
Dating makes you two exclusive. An “I love you” does not. It’s not something you have to wait for you say, hey, we’re together now-
Don’t be heartbroken my brother she’s the one who lost out not you the sins that that both committed will come back it alway do in a negative way she will never find happiness
I would get the feck out of dodge, no I mean delli
She cheated on you, as far as I’m concerned. (Along with everybody else) And, her sleeping with her married ex doesn’t say too much about her, either. Be thankful you found out about this before you got even more emotionally involved.
If she dont care about being with a married man, shes no worthy as a healthy partner. Move on bro
I’m gonna be short: RUN
She doesn’t respect you. You will find a nice girl who is not cheating on you since say one
Grow a pair. She is not only cheating on you, but she’s willing to know by doing so, she’s condoning his infidelity to his wife. MOVE ON and help her pack if you have too.
News Flash: infidelity is cheating. Cheating, in addition to not telling you, is abuse! Abuse is psychological as well as physical.
Nah you gotta break up 100%. Be frank with her and leave no room for misinterpretation
Yes it’s cheating and if you can you should tell the dudes wife cause he’s definitely cheating on her.
lmao clearly it’s cheating. Best to dump her and move on. And what do you mean you wanted to destroy her? in what way? Best not to do something you would regret and cut your losses.
She’s shady dude, dump that girl
She may have a disease and be careful who you kiss if she’s putting her mouth on her ex and basically anyone else they came into contact with. 🤮
That’s fucking rough man and a shitty situation to be in. Do what is best and right for YOU, leave her. If she cheats now she will, probably, in the future. The right one will come along eventually, you need to be strong in handling this situation. I’m praying for you and wishing you only the best of luck.
Hmmm, I feel the main problem is the cheating with “her MARRIED ex’ The colour of the flag is much glaring. However, I’d like to know how you got the information. Did she spill or you found it somehow?
Anyone that will cheat on their partner for you will 100% guaranteed cheat on you in the future if a relationship happens after they leave their current partner personally not worth it imo
If ur exclusive with her then it is cheating. If u guys never had a talk about being exclusive then i dont think it is cheating
Boy nobody who’s truly in love can run on that timeline. That’s like somebody you loved died and you’re out karaoking the next hour.
It just doesn’t work that way. She doesn’t love you. You’re a rebound
If you weren’t exclusive, no, it isn’t cheating unless a conversation to define what cheating means to you both was had. The fact she didn’t tell she may have felt she didn’t need to because you werent exclusive. Someone can have a level of love and still do this, just means she maybe views love differently than you or it’s a different level than yours. Do not retaliate in a bad way. If you feel this isn’t for you, it’s simple. Walk away. Or have a conversation. Don’t expect closure, don’t hate all women, don’t blame yourself. It’s a situation. Review, learn, continue. Good luck OP.
If she is willing to aid in cheating, she is willing to cheat herself man, learned this one the hard way. You don’t boil a frog by throwing it into hot water from the get go. Find another girl
I would keep my feeling on the dl and get my dick wet. And then after a few weeks, leave
Hold on a second. Had you two established that you were monogamous and committed to each other? If not, what she was doing outside of seeing you is her buisness. The same would apply to you, until you declare that you love each other and are moving forward together in a monogamous relationship.
I’m going to be the bad cop here but you should stick to what she has shown you in your relationship. Were you exclusive? Yes – cheating – No – no cheating. It is just the main point to me. I don’t think the world is black and white. People have gray areas and she can be the best thing in your life but she may have had bad choices along her way. Don’t take her friends word for truth. They maybe friends but also jealous of her. You have no idea how female competition for attention is just so hard to deal with.
just don’t get attached to her nor get married to her nor introduce her to your family/friends. keep it a secret affair. enjoy sex with her. if you keep looking for a perfect partner, you may never get one, in these times. it is what it is.
she is not detached from her ex. for her she has rights to do whatever she wants as long as she is not committed to you. even if both of you commit, she might go to him when you have a conflict, instead of working on the conflict resolution. she is insecured.
Think about it. She is banging a married man and you. How could you ever trust her? If she did it once, she would do it again. Let me clue you to a few facts of life, pal.
1 – Trust no one, EVER except for yourself
2 – Always go with your first gut instinct
3 – People are like leopards 🐆 LEOPARDS DON’T CHANGE THEIR SPOTS – EVER
Here’s the undiluted fact.
1) She does not love you
2) She is not Over her ex
3) You are her insurance, her backup.
4) Even after you get married and the ex wants her, she’ll still have sex with him.
5) She is going to cause you more emotional trauma than you can ever imagine.
My Advice is simple.
DUMP HER ASS… SHES NOT WORTH IT; DOESN’T matter what she Looks Like.. SHE IS NOT WORTH THE FUTURE PROBLEMS YOU ARE ABOUT TO ACCUMULATE.