For context: My partner and I have a good but not great sex life. Some of it is out of our control, we can only see each other a few days a week, some of it is on me because I’ve let her take on too much of the mental load in our relationship. That’s gotten a lot better and so has our relationship.
So I’ve recently been interested in adding some dirty talk to our escapades. She’s open to it but she’s very much in the moment when we make love. Very expressive, often vocal but never verbal. How can we introduce it without taking her out of the moment?
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Super basic starting point is say what you’re about to do, say what you’re doin, and then say what you just did. And encourage her to do the same. You can also ask questions about what she wants to do, how it feels, etc. Just roll with it and shake off anything that comes out awkwardly. Start small and none of this should “take her out of the moment” and then you can build on what works.
Not sure if you’re the sexting type but that’s another good way to get more comfortable with it. Text about something from your last sexual encounter that you really enjoyed, say what you want to do with her next time you’re together, etc.
You introduce it by joining her in the moment.
Dirty talk should come to you emotionally and passionately, not logically. Don’t think about what to say. Feel it.