I’m a pretty nice and thoughtful person. When people get to know me they often talk about how I’m the “nice one.” And I try really hard to be thoughtful – ask about people’s families or something they’ve shared they’re going to do. I’ll even make reminders to myself to follow up and ask friends about things going on in their lives.
My problem is that I’m quiet and I don’t think I initially come off as friendly. I’ve had people who don’t know me super well, only on a surface level, make jokes about how I don’t care what people think and I just do my own thing (which is true, but only to an extent). But I don’t feel like my exterior demeanor matches how I feel inside, if that makes sense.
I’m not super confident, which is part of my problem. I’ve been overweight my whole life and although people actually haven’t been mean to me, I’ve intentionally kept myself out of the spotlight to avoid the possibility that people will be mean. I’m also physically quiet – when I talk, even when I try to talk loudly, people often can’t hear me and will talk right over me. I literally feel like I’m yelling and people still ask me to repeat what I said if we’re in a group setting.
I’m wanting to change how I initially appear to people. I want people to see that I’m friendly, and want to hang out and chat, and feel comfortable around me, not awkward. What can I do? The best I’ve come up with is to smile really big when seeing people for the first time that day, trying to be even louder physically, and trying to stop holding back from speaking my mind. Any other suggestions?