Basically I have 2 dates planned on two separate dates whilst I am on holiday in another country. Met both guys through Hinge and connected instantly through chats. For a good 2 weeks, I genuinely liked the vibe from both of them but there were differences.
With 23M (I’ll call him Blue), we added each other on instagram and could speak for ages through voice notes and paragraphs. He was super sweet and very lovey dovey from the jump. He gave me lots of compliments and we had such similar opinions about many things. However, it could be excessive at times with the way he’d discuss our connection as it was sooo early on and we had only spoken through voice notes/text. It kinda felt like lovebombing a tiny bit with some of the things he mentioned so I did ask to slow things down and continue getting to know each other until we can meet for a date. I felt an energy shift but he chalked it up to his studies intensifying so I took his word for it. He’s gotten better and is still on for our date and wanting to make effort. Even though he has little time, he still scheduled a day date for us and plans to take me out most of the day. But then I now have a dilemma as I had gotten incredibly closer to Green (24M) in this time.
Green off the cuff wanted to have a phone call to get to know each other. This lasted for SIX hours non stop. We spoke about everything: life, family, friends, work, politics, likes/dislikes etc and laughed so much. Ever since, we’ve FaceTimed every night for hours and just talk about everything. He told me he was attracted to me from the jump but was less forward about it than Blue was. Now, in the past few days, I have felt a shift from him where he is more eager to voice how much he likes me and loves talking to me, thinks I’m beautiful and is focusing on our connection. I think he has genuinely developed feelings for me and it’s only now that I’m realising that I probably feel the same. We planned a 2 day date together with the possibility of sleeping over if we gel in person and he’s already put in effort to make plans for us during my time in his city. I’ve grown to really like him and feel like this is heading somewhere.
With both guys, it has been a month of us talking and getting to know each other so it is still early for me. My goal was genuinely to just have some hot dates whilst I was on my holiday and leave it at that. Never in my wildest dreams did I think I’d connect on this level with either of them, let alone both. However, I recognise that my connection to Green is strongest and quite frankly, incomparable.
The dilemma is that I don’t know if I should commit to spending 3 days with Green when things can be so different in person. I was planning to continue seeing Blue and keep my options open (or not attach myself so early on).
However, I don’t know if that is ok for me to do as I already know I connect with Green more and he would be hurt if he knew my last day would be with another man. Especially now that I can see he is becoming invested in me and us as he queries about a potential future between us (long distance relationship and that nature). Also I don’t know if I even desire to spend time with Blue as much (maybe due to the lack of energy I’m getting from him these days) but I also don’t want to completely invest in Green only for it to backfire (trust issues from my past) or not be the same connection that we already have. Or maybe I might even connect with Blue more in person and should give it a chance anyway?
Would it be wise for me to go ahead with my plans to date both guys or should I cancel with Blue if I am not feeling it as much?
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TL:DR – planned two dates with two guys that I connect with. One is currently a lot stronger than the other and wants to spend more time with me. Should I cancel other date so I can focus on this connection or give the other guy a chance anyway?
1 comment
Just cancel the plans with one guy (do not keep in contact with them, especially do not reach out to them if your first guy ends up being a dud), and date one person at a time next time so as to avoid this type of situation next time.
You’re already wanting to focus on one guy, so do both you and the second guy a favor and skip the awkward, half-assed dates where you’ll be thinking of someone else.