Dating sites?

7 comments

1. Dating sites can be a useful for meeting new people, but it’s important to approach them with realistic expectations and exercise caution. Success stories vary greatly, and the time it takes to find a compatible partner can depend on various factors, including personal preferences and circumstances. In my case online dating did not go so well, but then again I’m a dude and it’s hard to date when guys are competing with so many others

2. Can dating sites/apps be worth it? Yes. But is it likely? No. I’m not trying to be negative or anything. In fact, I had quite a bit of fun on dating apps. But that’s just it. Fun. There’s something about dating apps (I think a multitude of reasons) that makes them a more of a bad experience overall in the long run than a good experience. And that applies to over 90% of people of all levels of attractiveness and what not. I ended up deleting the apps altogether and just focused on having a good life. Within a year I met my wife. I can say with confidence that I wouldn’t have been invested enough early on to get to a point where we were serious if I was still on the apps dating and looking for the next gal. Women do the same thing. It doesn’t bring the best out of us.

   Bottom line is, dating apps are exactly what they say. Dating apps. They aren’t called relationship apps. If you’re just looking to have some fun, then go for it. If you’re looking for something meaningful, then do the smart thing and avoid them. Just try enjoy life and don’t be a recluse and you’ll eventually meet the right person

3. I’ve met pretty much everyone I dated since high school on dating sites. The key is to not assume it’ll just work out. Sure, as a woman in your 20s you’ll get tons of matches, but sifting through them and finding a decent guy is still a lot of work.

   A few tips if you do decide to go that route:

   1. You’re likely going to spend a lot of time and effort there, make sure you’re at least having fun. Don’t try to be cooler than you are and overthink everything. Swipe on whoever you like, say whatever you want, meet people you think will be fun to meet. Go on dates for the sake of the date not as some unpleasant chore in service of some greater goal.
   2. Continuously refine your profile. Get feedback from people you can trust. I can’t count the number of times I swiped left on likely perfectly good women because their profiles had something I didn’t like. My favorites are cliches like “If you can’t handle me at my worst, then you don’t deserve …” or super filtered photos.
   3. Understand that men you think are the most attractive, interesting, successful, etc. are attractive to every woman in your area. They have their run of the place and will quite likely treat you like crap. If you keep getting ghosted, treated poorly, keep running into men only interested in casual, poly, no strings, etc. then you’re likely matching with guys who have too many options.

   1, 2, and 3 above are likely why many women hate dating apps.

4. I met two amazing girls after a week on two dating websites and we are having deep conversations daily, but I spent a LARGE number of time scrolling through people and liking those who appeared interesting and attractive to me – I am speaking 1-2 hours of dedicated “work” every day. I am fairly sure I would have done better if I had taken those ~10 hours I spent doing that (plus 2-3 hours carefully crafting my profiles) and instead went to 4-5 Meetups where people of interest to me are likely to appear.

   The advantage of dating websites is that they allow you to meet people you would be very unlikely to meet otherwise, such as people living in a town nearby where you never go – and you also know that (almost) everyone you match with there is after a relationship, unlike when meeting someone in person for the first time. But in terms of the expected results per unit of time, I do not think they are that great.

   To add, this is a guy’s perspective. My female friends complain about the reverse issue: they also have to do a ton of work, only scrolling through people who liked them. Given the number of trolls/bots/creepy guys out there, this can also be extremely exhausting and time-consuming. I am not sure which gender has it better, to be honest.

5. If you’re pretty, men are going to swipe right on you for that reason alone. I recommend paying attention to things like common interests and life goals which a lot of the apps allow you to enter in. Dating apps encourage you to put a lot of superficial nonsense in their prompts which is not going to help you find a real match.

   If you’re like most girls you’re only going to swipe right on 10’s who will treat you like shit because they very likely have better options and don’t need you, you’re just the night’s entertainment to them. Or worse, that 10 is actually just a scammer or catfish.

6. If you’re using the apps expect it to be a scammer on the other end.
   Oh and minors pose as adults in them as well.
   So you may want to id check.
   Ran into that a few times, unfortunately.
   And they can be quite expensive and full of fake profiles to keep you spending money and get nowhere.
   Isn’t modern times fun! 🤣

7. Dating sites are useful for hook-ups if you meet certain criteria.

   They’re an illusion for everyone else.