i am currently in a long distance relationship with my boyfriend (23m) and we both haven’t had sex before. not even oral sex with anyone ever before lol
we will be seeing each other next month and he has been telling me that he wants to try doing it then. can you give me notes and advice on how i can make it a good experience for us both? (if you have ldr sex life tips too like sexting tips, that might help too lol)
5 comments
The most important thing in sex I believe is communication. As it will be both of your first times you are both bound to be a little nervous to say the least, don’t pretend that you’re not and rush into things as that’s when it can get painful and not fun for anyone involved. Take your time, be comfortable, be honest and open, take things slow. If it doesn’t feel good then be patient, rearrange and try something different. Don’t believe everything you see on porn or Google as it will give you an unrealistic idea of sex, especially first time sex. Make sure you are both relaxed and not pressuring the situation and just enjoy each other. All the best, good luck and be safe! 😁
Learn your body. Learn to masturbate. Find what feels good to you so that you will be able to guide him as you learn together.
The mechanics of the act are pretty simple. It is all about communication and relaxation.
33F here!
If you’ve never done anything sexual with anyone before, I’d suggest not going “all the way” the first time. That’s like jumping in the deep end of the swimming pool just before your first lesson. You’ll drown.
Take it slow. Have a few sessions of grinding, fingering, and manual stimulation and oral before you have intercourse. That way you have time to learn eachother’s bodies, learn how to communicate, feel more confident, and learn what feels good. If you rush it, it’ll end up playing out like some porn scene he’s seen recently, because that’s his only point of reference. You don’t want that.
Get some lube and try it out a few times alone, find one you like. He should be buying different condoms and trying them alone as well.
As someone else mentioned, know your body. Know what feels good to you and what turns you on.
Most of all, you both need to be calm and relaxed, in a setting where time is not an issue and no one can come bothering you. I recommend no alcohol.
Take your time. This is the first time you meet, so take the time to get to know one another face to face, before getting naked.
Don’t expect anything. Don’t expect it to be amazing and don’t expect it to suck. Just let it be what it is and start learning what you both like. Go from there. Personally my first time was mediocre and a bit painful. But it got better from there.