So I have a friend who thinks its funny to say “man shut the fuck up” everytime I talk to him.
I am considering just leaving him but I want to try to talk to him about it and try to salvage our relationship before I actually cut contacts, how do I do it?
If he doesn’t stop I will just leave him though, but im open to give people second chances
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Say “okay” and walk away. Say nothing further. Just walk away and don’t engage. End your interactions for that day. If he does it again, then do it again. He’ll get the message or he won’t.
“I don’t appreciate you talking to me like this, I understand that you think it’s funny, I don’t think it’s funny. It makes me feel disrespected and I would like you to stop”
Cut him off
Do you know if he’s joking? If he’s joking just ask him to stop that joke or tell him if it makes you uncomfortable
If he’s serious just cut him off it’s not worth your time at all
Nobody think that it’s funny he can’t say that to anyone like that. Your giving second chance to someone mentality sounds nice only. As you get older you shouldn’t give anyone a 2nd chance that easily unless they showed they truly charge their behavior.
He seems to take his anger onto you by being passive aggressive in the name of fun
Text him right now and talk it out. If he is not cooperating let him go. Just be truthful to yourself and him, tell him how you feel.
“That doesn’t work for me”
And then he’ll get all offended, like you made him step in dog poo or something.
The pattern is he attacks, then to any resistance he acts like he’s the victim. Or that’s something you can test, seeing whether he falls into that pattern. It’s the pattern of someone who is pathologically insecure – they attack at one moment, then are the poor victim the next moment. Whatever will cover up their insecurity.
“Dude, stop being such an azzhole.” Repeat as necessary. If it’s constantly necessary, drop his sorry azz.
“Hey I get that’s a joke but it still doesn’t feel good. I’d appreciate it if you stopped.”
Wait for him to speak and tell him the same thing
Maybe he’s trying to attempt banter (idk if that’s just a UK word) try acting like that back to him and see how he reacts
Unfriend
I had a friend like this when I was growing up. It’s not worth salvaging since he does not feel any remorse telling you to shut the fuck up constantly.
As for my “friend”, most of us cut him off after high school because he was more of a headache than the friendship was worth.
You gotta build up the courage to challenge him. He needs to know it’s not okay. Not aggressively, but you should tell him straight that you don’t like it and it doesn’t feel like a joke – if he can’t respect that then he isn’t a friend, simple as.
First step is realizing that he might not be a friend. People like that aren’t even worth receiving any of your attention.
Man there’s a real problem on this sub of people who have zero social skills giving each other advice. The correct answer is to communicate clearly how it makes you feel. If they value your friendship they will adjust. If they don’t then you know they’re not actually your friend and you can cease communication. Do not listen to people telling you to be passive aggressive or be an asshole. That is not how you make or keep friends.
“hey man, that joke’s getting old. you need to smart the fuck up and come up with something new”
that’s some peoples way of joking. light roasting and being a little sassy CAN show that people are comfortable with you. However, that’s not always the case. There are people who have underlying animosity towards their friends. If it’s the latter, I would honestly recommend just distancing yourself or explaining your feelings and leave it at that. It should not be your burden to explain why you’re uncomfortable to someone who is clearly doing things in a way to show animosity/be rude towards you.
As an adult, I don’t believe in giving second chances to people who have done things that are truly mean spirited towards me. It has given me a lot of clarity and peace to not feel like I have to push myself to forgive others for doing things to me that I could not imagine doing to another person.
Nothing ever works better than being honest.
Just tell him honestly what you don’t like,why you don’t like,and what would you rather appreciate.
Tell him all these things politely without putting him down,he will surely understand.
P.S.you not liking certain things is completely subjective,he might not be doing it intending to hurt you,it would be just the way he functions(you would need to understand and accept this fact).We humans have different vocabulary and subtext even though we speak same language.
And if his behaviour in general is harmful or inappropriate that could harm him as well.I think then you should politely as a good friend with concern towards him ask him to change a bit.
And in any case if he is internationally hurting you then you can decide for yourself with all grace and humility accepting the differences as humans you two have at this point in life.
Wishing the best to you and all positivity & fruitfulness to your friendship!😇✌🏻
“Dude, you gotta stop saying that. It’s not funny anymore. It’s actually really annoying and it’s getting disrespectful.”
I had a friend kinda like that. I eventually had to cut it off he wouldn’t lay off no matter how many times I told him.
“Dude, don’t talk to me like that.” If he does it again and isn’t apologetic about it, the friendship is over
If you say some stupid shit like that again your gonna have to leave before we really have some problems….. And that’s it if he say some stupid shit again tell him to leave and never talk to him again
I would retort why dont YOU shut the fuck ip, and walk away. He’ll figurecit out.
Tell him to shut up when he’s talking
“Dude that’s not very funny. Please don’t talk to me like that” the first few times.
After that say “Don’t talk to me like that. I don’t friend who talk to me like that”
And if that doesn’t work defriend him.
A real friend isn’t going to talk to you like that anyway….
Shoot your shot but expect the possibility that his answer will be further demeaning. Be prepared to say “I’m very serious right now. If you continue to do this, I will walk away.” And follow through
Whenever he insults you ….just give him a death stare. Never break eyecontact with such guys….this gives them a feeling that they have dominated you. That is the reason why most guys tend to insult a certain person again and again.
Never laugh it off …whenever someone insults you…just to lighten the mood. It is not your job.
Telling from experience.
If he’s a recent friend that you’ve only known for a few days or weeks, then that’s most likely just his personality to bully and make fun of others. In that case, you’ll most likely have to end the friendship.
But if he’s a friend you’ve known for a long time, at least for a year, then there might still be some hope to repair the friendship. Say something to him like, “bro why did you change? You used to be so much better and cooler. Now you’re just weird.” If he does any self-reflection on himself, then he’ll most likely stop. Otherwise, if he starts provoking a physical fight out of you or keeps making fun of you, then the friendship is officially dead.
Make him blush and feel warmth. That’s how you melt these individuals with massive fucking insecurities. Treat him like he’s your baby or something that is inferior to you. Make him feel that he’s wrong and is violating social norms. You can do this by expressing a disappointed face. Say to him that you’re disappointed in him. Treat him like a puppy. And if he reacted badly, just laugh at him.
And finally, don’t be like doctor murphy (i am a surgeon reference.)
Next time he pulls that shit, snap at him to knock it off. Go on briefly and tell him that it’s not cool for him to keep saying that to you for no reason at all, like once or twice it would’ve been nothing, but every time isn’t cool.
Just tell him to shut the fuck up every time he talks.
He probably won’t like that, and then you’d be able to have a conversation about it. Idk could be shit advice.
Wish ya luck op
First find out if he’s really your friend to begin with.
Good rule of thumb for this kind of thing is to ask yourself the following and maybe ask a few mutual friends too if you can.
Does this guy listen to you when you talk?
Does this fellow involve you in stuff?
Do you laugh together/ have fun together or does he just kinda dump on you?
Do you have to initiate conversation constantly?
If you feel like he’s not really in your life like that to begin with, just let him fade into an acquaintance of his own accord.
Otherwise if you feel like he is your friend, and maybe he’s just a little dense to the way he’s impacting you then try this.
Point out to him that he does it wayyyy too often for it to even be funny anymore and ask him to stop.
You can talk to him about it but 9 times out of 10 he will keep doing it A) because he thinks its his right to do so and B) your feelings don’t really matter to him.
Get a squirt bottle. Every time he says it squirt him in the eyes, point and yell *NO* BAD FRIEND. *NO* STOP IT.
Repeat as necessary until training is complete.
Bro, why you speak to me like that?
Im trynna have a convo with my friend but it seems like you aint the one. So if you want me as a friend still, so speak to me respectfully.
Thats how id be saying it to him.
A little more harsh but yeah..
I dont like when people talk to other people like that, like.. i dont understand the cause.. hahah
Gotta set those boundaries early. Good luck!
Use the word “disrespectful”
Punch that fucker. Bet you he won’t say shit after that