It may sound childish and if you think it is after explaining let me know.
This is the thing, when I go out with friends (unless it is a football or softair match in which I cannot use the phone as much) I tend to respond after short she sends messages and she tries to send messages only if strictly needed or only once in a while.
Now we had the same discussion we had many and many times.
Yesterday she asked if she could go out with her friends, ofc I told her yes ( I don’t even know why she ask for permission I guess it’s a way to let me know she’s gonna go out, told her many time that I should not give her permission)
To sum it up, as always she goes out I ask her to tell me when she go, she does than we don’t talk for 2 to 4 hours, after this amount of time I usually ask her something to know if everything is good and she does 2 thing, doesn’t respond at all (one time she went out at 21, I contacted her at 01.00 and she didn’t respond until 11 the day after) and it get me worried that something might have happened
Or she responds, usually after at least 45 minutes to an hour with a super short and emotionless message, the feeling I get from this is that she’s always in a hurry to hide from someone that she’s chatting with me, when I see this kind of message I often try to open it up a bit asking something like “all good?” Or “what are you doing” knowing she was on phone in that exact moment, nothing happens and usually at least 1 and half to 3 hours pass by again.
This has grown on me, I asked her many times to try to respond when I ask something in a human way at I don’t think it is oppressive since they are usually 2 to 4 messages in total every 2to4 hours.
Now we had this discussion again, I’m coming to the conclusion that she has something to hide since she is way more oppressive when I go out, this is one of the last time I want to give her the benefit of the doubt before leaving her for good, but I want to know your opinion
(I’m not really good in English sorry for some mistake I might have done)
5 comments
I’m assuming this is when she’s out until 1, 2 or 3 in the morning? If that’s the case, confront her and dump her. She’s probably cheating bro.
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The gist of what you’re feeling is insecurity. When she’s been out and ignoring you for too long you freak out because your mind is racing, and that’s totally normal, we’ve all been there.
It doesn’t necessarily mean that she’s being unfaithful or trying to hide things from you as you suggest. Maybe the more you’re asking her for updates when she’s out, the more she gets fed up and ignore you for longer on purpose.
If you want to even things out try to ignore her just as much when you go out. But I don’t thing it’s worth breaking up with her, you both need to talk it out and clearly set expectations from now on to respect one another’s needs and boundaries when you’re apart. I don’t think you should leave her unless there are other red flags
I would do the same, go out with one of your single mate to the bar or club tell her you are going with him and say you text her when your free. Then when at the thr bar/club text her you arrived and say you cant text much. Then turn your phone off and have fun with your mate. Get home at what ever time and in the morning at about 10:00 text her. This is either make her relise how it feels and makes her stop or will will continue and thats when you know she is hiding something.
Oh the youth of today. Can’t cope with not having contact with their partners for a night. You need to grow up. She is out with friends and should not have to be getting texts for you. She’s out with friends, you wait for her to contact you the next day. It’s actually rude to interrupt someone when they are out with friends unless it’s an emergency. Also the next day she could be suffering with a really bad hangover, so like I said, wait for her to contact you.
Back in my day before mobile phones and the internet you might go days without hearing from your gf. It makes me laugh that the youth of today are so obsessed with constant contact with one another