My husband and I have been married for 16 years. 10 years ago, he confessed to a one night stand, we went to marriage counseling and moved on.
Two weeks ago I discovered he was talking to a girl on fb messenger. He deleted the message before I could read it but when asked admitted to having a one night stand with her 18 months ago. I messaged her to verify it was once and she confirmed BUT said “he told me he has done this for years with 4 or 5 other women. One of them lasting two years.” He also confirmed this to be true. Also, Just two weeks ago he got on fb dating, matched and spoke to a few girls. Then he said the next day got off because he realized he was being dumb.
So his last physical affair was 18 months ago but he did chat and match with girls online just a few weeks ago.
Six women total he has cheated on me with in the last 10 years.
He said he is sorry and feels awful and will change. We have two kids. I hate to break up my family. Is this salvageable? I feel like I want a separation at the very least. Why is leaving so scary? Why does part of me still love him?
2 comments
Because leaving is the unknown.
You still love him because aside from his Infidelity, he’s still the man you fell in love with. Your best friend, and father of your children.
Your feelings are valid OP.
Because leaving is change and very scary. But your husband’s got some problems. He’s promising the change, from cheating? From messaging chatting with other women on FB?. If you’re willing to accept the past women and I FB activities, why leave? I read many posts on here about open marriages, and other non-traditional marriage activities so must work for some?
I would get some marriage counseling and determine what’s acceptable to you and husband.