I am a 34 year old gay male. I have a condition called pelvic floor dysfunction which has caused me a lot of pain and discomfort for the past 8ish years.
It is kinda hard to describe all the symptoms, but it has caused me muscle pain and tightness in my lower body, testicular sensitivity and pain, as well as nerve pain. The nerve pain has gotten (somewhat) better over the years, but at its worst I could not even walk without having a huge amount of pain from the friction from just walking. Nowadays I just have a lesser penile pain from friction (I can only wear one brand of silky underwear), masturbation, and all types of sexual act with men. I may be in pain during, or would sometimes have a lot of pain which will last a day or two.
I believe a portion of this pain is definitely mental, and I have worked on adapting as much as possible. I am able to engage sexually with guys with comfort and confidence and they definitely seem to enjoy it all without any awkwardness… Up until the point of having actual intercourse. It has been a long time since I have actually had intercourse as I am scared to death something will go wrong or something embarrassing will happen to me. This could be that I will be in pain during, or would have a lot of pain after, or would lose my boner, or would finish too fast, etc. All these things are running through my head and have prevented me for moving forward with it for a very long time. There have been a lot of instances I would get right up until the point of having actual intercourse, and would just stop and it would get awkward and I feel stupid.
Not sure what I am asking for, but if there are any insights anyone has? Or tips on how I might be able to gain more confidence or overome this?
Also, if anyone else may be experiencing the same (or similar) pain I am having, I am happy to help however I can.
Thanks for reading!