My partner has been openly Bisexual/Pan for our entire relationship. I came out as Bi fairly early in our relationship. We get along great, communicate well, and overall have a very happy life together.
He sat down with me today and told me he’s been questioning his sexuality for several weeks. It started when he realized he’s gender fluid (still uses mostly he/him pronouns but is comfortable with any) during a mushroom trip, then gradually he started noticing more things about his sexuality and porn habits. He’s not sure if he is gay or not, hasn’t felt much attraction towards me lately, has been watching porn featuring primarily men, and is working through figuring it all out in therapy.
I hugged him, kissed him, and told him I was glad he told me. We talked for a bit, and then went to bed. But…… idk what to do now. Until he’s sure, neither of us really know what this means for our relationship. I’m just…… so afraid of losing him, but also afraid I won’t be able to make him happy. I don’t know what to do.
TL;DR: My bisexual boyfriend of 7 years thinks he might be gay but isn’t sure. What do I do?
3 comments
I flaired this NSFW because of the mention of drugs and pornography. I’m not sure where the line is, but I wanted to err on the side of caution
Oy, friend, that is so painful. Are you in therapy? This would be a great time to start, even with the goal of it being short-term and focused on this transition. It was a godsend for me during a time when my live-in relationship was a series of question marks.
Also, get his sign-off to talk to a close friend about this. It’s not good to out people without their permission, but you also need people to talk to right now. You need support that’s all about you and how this affects you.
He’s been gay his entire life. He’s just been using the new rainbow alphabet to figure out how to present himself to the rest of the world. If you’re good with that, great. But if you don’t want to be with a man that will never be sexually attracted to you, it’s time to make a move.