I’m an adult who is over the age of 27 who is in my first relationship ever with a kind, thoughtful, attentive guy. He seriously is wonderful and respectful to me. However, I just mentally noted a few things after they happened. I bruise easily so after we hooked up one time I showed him the bruises I had and laughed about them. He said oh wow and said something like “I like when you have bruises and marks because it makes it look like you belong to me/are mine.” This is the second or so time he’s made an offhanded comment like this after I’ve shown or mentioned my bruises.
Is it a yellow flag? I know he’d never ever intentionally hurt me, but it just struck me as something a woman who got more triggered easily would note as a yellow/red flag, but I don’t know for certain.
4 comments
It’s hard to say . Has he ever done/said anything before that might indicate him being abusive?
He could just be slightly into BDSM too so
It’s weird but if he didn’t do them on purpose, I wouldn’t think much of it, assuming he is indeed the great guy you describe and not some optical illusion from this being your very first relationship. Talk about it with someone who knows the two of you, who can provide some honest feedback.
People will always tell you who they are.
I’m sorry to not give him the benefit of the doubt, but if it stuck with you then trust your instinct. If it’s a kink then you have every right to know. But comments such as this although easy to ignore and shrug off, say something. He clearly thought you were okay with it since you laughed about it. Which made him comfortable enough to make an honest comment about his feelings.