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Not sure if anyone relates, but having moved to a new city/ new job / new life and jumping back into the dating pool looking for LTR. Personally looking for someone that I can feel safe with/ grow with. Been going on dates and it’s been fun, but I wonder about the the recover/ less fun times and how to go about figuring out if these people I’m seeing will handle those moments.
Thanks for reading.
My personal thoughts today… 35F… anyone else roll their eyes and pass over people who “don’t want to put a label on anything”? AKA “just waiting for something better?” Like jesus… GF / BF or even saying we’re DATING is not us getting married or me moving in. Labels give clarity. It keeps people on the same page. I don’t think it’s “a lot”.
I just loathe the apps. It feels… dehumanizing for me to use, it really makes humans on both ends feel disposable, it feels so superficial and gross. It doesn’t feel like men my age or older aren’t willing to make any kind of exclusive commitment, or say they’re also looking for a relationship but actions say otherwise. So weird to go from texting every day to strangers.
And yet I still remain hopeful…
Thinking about condensing my therapy sessions to once a week instead of every three, to start working though things at a quicker pace.
How often do you see your therapist?
Haven’t heard from promising tinder guy in three days, we were kind of in the middle of a (slow) conversation. He’s still on vacation though and had told me about all the plans he has, so I’m hoping it’s just that. He gets back this weekend, please keep your fingers crossed he reaches out so we can schedule that date, I really wanna meet him 🤞🏻I’m thinking if he doesn’t text by Monday, I will.
I went out last night with the guy who cancelled last minute last week. It went well! I’m into him and I hope I get to see him again. He’s a bit weird and awkward but so am i. Has a cool job and seems super interesting. Similar interests for sure. At the end of the date he asked if he could kiss me which was cute. We had a nice lil peck. Nothing too crazy for a first date haha
We talked about hanging next week but I suggested he could join me for a couple fun things I’m doing tomorrow instead. Waiting for him to get back to me and hoping it works out that we get to hang out tomorrow!
Been seeing a guy for a couple of weeks (5th date tonight). We recently had a nice, sincere conversation about “liking” each other, but it seems clear that we’re not going to be talking about exclusivity in the near future, so I’m forcing myself to go out with others. I have a very romantic picnic planned with a new guy (his idea) and I’m struggling to be excited about it. I’m just not built for multi-dating! Any tips?
Her birthday is 3 days before date #2. Flowers or no?
I (31M) hate being anxiously attached. I’m in therapy, I’m working on it. But it’s just so uncomfortable and stressful for no reason. I’ve been dating my girlfriend for 3 months. Things have been going pretty great. I helped her move into her first home yesterday and even though we usually hang out Friday nights, she wants tonight to put stuff away unpack and get a feel for her first home.
Obviously, this is normal and healthy. But my brain feels guilty because I feel like I’m smothering her. I told her it’s no problem and she should have that for herself, but my brain feels like I’m screwing things up. I just wish I could shut off the anxiety.
Just a rant. Can we please stop using the word “spark”? There are better words to describe what we are actually feeling and chasing “the spark” might as well be searching for a high. People are awkward the first date. People become comfortable with each other in a deep caring consistent love. People trust each other enough not to be anxious all the time. Nervousness goes away. Are we really discounting people just cause we can’t get high off their presence?
Relationships are investments. And you don’t go and sell everything after one bad day, or week, or month, or even a year. We all should be looking at intentions for 5, 10, 50 years into the future. We all want to live happily ever after with our one and do you really expect a spark to last 50 years!!
Look for your candle with a constant unwavering flame.
I think I’m just kind of done for a good while. The thing that just keeps eating in to me is the question, “What am I doing wrong?”. Things just end without real closure making me reflect on myself, motivation, and wants. Rejection fatigue has aken a tole too. Hope you all have a decent weekend