Any advice , tips or things to look out for in men .

25 comments

  2. Trust your intuition.

    Actions speak louder than words.

    Any man who ignores a boundary that you’ve set is not a man worth spending time with.

  3. The boys are like apples on a tree. A good apple isn’t a good apple until it’s ripe. Best leave it on the tree if it’s not ready.

  4. 1. You set the standard for what you are willing to accept from other men.
    2. You don’t attract you tolerate. men who mistreat you do that with everyone you are just the latest in line
    3. You cannot change the outcome of a relationship, the character of a man, or how he treats you. What he chooses to do is entirely his choice. Accept what he tells and shows you the first time. Respect is not earned it is a right you deserve from day one.
    4. Don’t become preoccupied with what a man you are no longer with does after you. He could change for the better, remain the same, or change for the worse. Neither is your business know that when you walk away to focus on the windshield not the rear view mirror.
    5. You are not his mother!
    6. Vet, vet, vet men. Read between the lines, ask questions, don’t be too gullible, make it clear what your boundaries/expectations/standards are. Don’t make any man make you feel as though it is normal for his intentions to be confusing, challenging your boundaries, or attempting to change the core foundation of your relationship for sport. Take your time.
    7. Any man that is not clear with his intentions and does any other actions that heavily disturb your peace of mind. Distract you from achieving your goals, or severely limits you in other ways. Is not worth your time. Just as you contribute to others lives you deserve someone to contribute to yours
    8. Lastly, dating is rough. We all (or most) have played the fool at some point by tolerating, going back to, and rationalizing dysfunction. Don’t let those painful lessons dictate your patterns of tomorrow.
    9. Men come and go. Love and cherish your relationships. But pick the job, chase that dream, shoot for the stars. Don’t stop going for a man that isn’t your husband or serious life long partner.

  5. Actions speak louder than words. Observe how he acts in various situations.

    It’s important to see potential in men, but it’s also important to see if they’re a dreamer or a doer.

    Ask yourself this question- if things got very difficult in life, would I trust this man to do the right thing?

    Most men say the right things, some men do the right things, fewer men can be counted on to do the right things when it comes at a personal cost to themselves.

    Those rare men are the ones worth keeping in your life.

  6. I’m gonna go a different way with this and say that I would treat her and my wife how I would expect any man she chooses to treat her.

    But if I had time say something. “Be smart. Draw your line in the sand early and firmly. The moment they cross that line, chances are you’re going to want to move it a little bit, give them another chance perhaps. Don’t. Don’t ever move that line. You move it once, you’ll move it a second time and then a third until they’ve taken every inch from you. Sometimes they don’t even cross that line and it just doesn’t work out. That’s fine. But whatever you do, don’t move that line.”

    If for some reason I ever end up with kids, I’m going to monologue all the time like this when it comes to serious advice. If they’re my kids, they’ll appreciate the cheese lol

  8. Don’t put up with someone who makes you feel bad about yourself. A lot of manipulative people aren’t as smart as they seem. They are merely willing to hurt others to get what they want. It’s a choice that almost anyone can make, but most are too decent to do so.

    If you suspect a person to be overly narcissistic or psychopathic, leave before It’s too late. The lasting damage people like this inflict will poison you against future loving partners and warp your sense of self.

    Also, show compassion for men and realise that most aren’t terrible people. They are often just stupid or immature people playing the role society has handed them poorly.

  9. Say yes when you mean yes, say no when you mean no, expect that your response will be respected, and you are allowed to secure your own safety. The first two ensure unambiguous communication, the third point helps ensure that she’s dealing with someone who respects *her*, and the last point makes clear that no one has permission to make her feel unsafe.

    I’ve got both my daughters in martial arts to help their confidence and give them better odds if they have to secure their own safety.

  11. Look at how he treats the other women in his family. That is a good indicator how he will be with you.

  12. Men will offer you things from time to time. Be careful what you accept and from whom. Nothing is free, no matter what they say, and other men know that too.

  13. Look at what they do, not what they say.

    People can say anything. Never trust words that aren’t confirmed with actions.

  14. There’s men that just want to use you up until there is nothing left. Then there are men who will do anything to help you elevate in life. Both these types of men want pussy.

  17. Not necessarily a direct answer to the question, but it still carries some value in regards to educating your daughter about men…

    It’s really important for the father figure to show his daughter authentic love and vulnerability so that she knows how to differentiate between real love and someone who carries a facade to mask hidden motives. I suppose that goes for mother and son too now that I think about it 🧐. Idk just my 5 cent.

  20. I’m not a man but when my daughter was 11 or so, I brought home a bunch of colored condoms… We spent the afternoon blowing them up, using static to stick them to walls etc. While we were doing it I said something along the lines of “at some point a guy will tell you that condoms are too small/tight”

    “…but you could put your whole head in one”

    “Exactly.”

    Stay safe baby.

  21. Ahh I’d say I’m generally different in this approach, I am both good at dating, and am probably someone most women should avoid. I also have a young daughter (too young to say this too)

    – If you are unsure if any man is interested in you, he is not. Men will make it known by making themselves incredibly available. If you were Taylor swift, they would make themselves available, they wouldn’t be indifferent, flakey, talking to anyone else, they will be all about you.
    – Make them wait at least 3 dates before sleeping with them, creeps don’t want to put in time, uninterested men don’t want to get to know you. They want to bang and leave when they get what they want.
    – Find someone you believe in, someone who is trying to build something, someone who is going to school, someone who likes learning
    – That being said, know who is full of shit. There are people who can speak well, who can sell ideas and dreams on going from point A to Z, but can’t get you answers on how they plan to go from point A to point B.
    – Your options are literally limitless. If there are 100 men in a room you can probably have a fun, long lasting and meaningful relationship with 2-4 of them. They are probably good people, with morals, okay jobs and will treat you well. This is likely the case with any group of 100 men.
    – Everyone wants to have sex, the nice guys, the mean guys, the ugly guys, the hot guys, the smart and the dumb, the rich and the poor, they all have different strategies
    – Avoid the losers…the drunks, the addicts, the dreamers, the dramatic, the abusers, the users, the financially irresponsible, the lazy. They will bring you down to their level.
    – They are the average of their 5 closest friends, get to know who they are a bit
    – Watch out for the ones who only tell you what they think you want to hear, you won’t and shouldn’t agree on everything, it’s either an ulterior motive or they have no backbone

    Probably a lot more

  23. 1. Do not drop your standards under any circumstance whatsoever.

    2. If you can’t see yourself with the guy longterm then don’t waste time on him now.

    3. Get input about him from other men who you can trust (not male friends, there’s no such thing). Preferably a cousin, sibling or your father. Men can pick out bullshit in other men far better than women usually can, it will save you a lot of heartbreak.

  25. Make sure she knows she doesn’t need a man but should want one who adds value to her life not just to have anyone at all. Also sexually make sure she knows how to love on herself so she can have better shared experiences. I grew up in a purity culture and was told how wrong masturbation was and it took me a while to realize I’m supposed to enjoy sex too with someone else and it is OKAY to show a partner what you like and is even encouraged. But I have to know what I like to do that.

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