Sex on first date. Yes or no and why?

18 comments

1. You’ll have to ask him directly what he’s looking for then be cautious of his answer as it probably is skewed a bit.

2. His motto is this:

   I want a lifelong partner… but if you just want to be a FWB I will exchange affection for your tuna.

3. Having sex on the first date will not disqualify you from being relationship material. Not being relationship material disqualifies you. And those things are different for everyone.

   Show attraction, interest and be flirty if you don’t want to have sex.

   But I can tell you personally. The whole idea of “I would have sex for casual but not relationship” is a huge turn off and super disrespectful. All that means to me is, you are nice and good for me long term but not hot enough to sleep on the first date.

4. I wouldn’t have sex with anyone I hadn’t known for 6 months. Learned about their past, their medical history and shared yours. Anyone who has sex the first date looks desperate and easy. Have more respect for yourself than that.

5. When in doubt talk it out.

6. From a guy, keep to the 3rd date rule imo. If someone gives it up on the first date, for me all I think is they must do that often, and I’m not dating someone like that.

7. Sex on a first date generally doesn’t end with a long term relationship, no matter how much fun and how horny your feeling . That being said maybe you just need to go for it , sounds like you need a good f_ck tbh

8. Do what YOU want to do. Fucking ridiculous that men think they can create “rules” for how women should behave sexually. If a man judges you for that, they’re a walking red flag and will take liberty to tell you how to behave in other areas of your life as well. If this question should be asked at all, it should go both ways. How do straight women feel about *men* who have sex on the first date. The double standards and exerted control are enraging.

9. If that’s what you want, great. If it’s not, great.

   Just do it OP. Don’t stress about X or Y.

10. I’ve slept with women on the first date and was with them long term. Also “waited” until the 3rd or 4th or 5th date and things ended a few weeks later.

    Attraction is not a choice. It’s either there or it isn’t.

    If you feel it, do it. If you don’t, then don’t.

11. As a 37M I can say that sex on the 1st date does not disqualify you from long term eligibility. I’ve noticed as we get older we tend to know what we want and also don’t want to beat around the bush. Go on the date, see how things go and how you feel. If you 2 hit it off, see where the night leads. Don’t push yourself either way for some social standard. There is nothing wrong with either choice

12. The problem is not sex or no sex on the 1st date…it doesn’t really matter…the problem is not getting to know a person, face to face, before making assumptions about their character and personality. Many people don’t really know what they are, and so text convos can be completely different from how a person is in real life.

    Use the dating apps just to find people you are attracted to, and then setup informal quick dates asap. I used to book 2-3 dates in an evening, and would use that to quickly get to know a lot of people. You quickly get a great compare/contrast….and it’s easier to know who you want to continue seeing.

    If a date goes particularly well, and you just “know” ‘this is my person’ then you can cancel the other dates…or you can still go on them, and then circle back to your favorite.

    This takes the pressure off, and makes dating much easier, and a lot of fun. I highly recommend t.

13. 35M here. I’ve never slept with someone on a first date, but if it happened I would have two thoughts: 1. wow she really likes me (great!), and 2. hmm maybe she was just really wanted sex and I was just a safe option (not bad, but not good). It would all come down to how things go from there. If we grab breakfast/coffee the next morning and talk and such it would totally not be a bad way to start a relationship in my opinion. BUT I’d definitely feel a little unsure and want reassurance either way about what she’s looking for.

    Question for you though if you’re willing: I have “looking for: long-term, open to short” in my profiles while I am very much looking for long term, I just feel like short-term HAS to happen first – like dating for a bit before deciding whether you might be compatible longer term I would never go on a few dates and already know it’ll definitely be a long-term thing. Do people really interpret “open to short” as “open for one-night-stands”? I though short-term meant like… weeks or a few months.

14. He wants long term but isn’t going to pass up the opportunity to get laid. If you want more than a hookup then I would say hold off on jumping into bed with him. Unless you are ok with the chance it may not go any further than that.

15. All I hear in your post, is you are horny and do not care who you sleep with. So that means you do not value the acts vh of having sex and you do not bond over having sex.

    Sure most men will do the deed with you, but if they are wanting a ltr, they likely will then ghost you as not being relationship material. Easy and a pushover is not what every man desires.

    And 9 years of celibacy will tell them, you do not have an std, but do they?

    You really should be more discerning in who you sleep with. But you do as you please.

16. 22M, Truthfully I don’t care if me and the girl have sex or not on the first date. If we do? Sweet if not? Oh well not the end of the world it’s just sex and it comes and goes? Men who still care whether or not they get laid on day 1 shouldn’t be given any of your time.

17. If you want something serious, it’s bad idea to have sex right away. You need to get to know the person first and you need to let them fall for you first or you will end up as hook-up or FWB.

18. Sex on a first doesn’t change a man’s view on a woman if he’s for keep he is for keep if he’s not he’s not even if you take 1yr before having sex with a guy que sera sera 🤷🏽‍♂️