My boyfriend and I have been really busy with life and school recently and haven’t had the time to really hang out by ourselves.
We try to make time by him telling me he will pick me up or come over to my house for a little bit before we go back for studying and etc.
This morning he said he wanted to come over and he ended up falling asleep and it ended up not working out. I know and I understand that he’s been busy recently and haven’t had the time to really sleep and stuff. I just thought that if he is always so busy it would be nice for him to at least let me know he can’t come over today. I feel like I always get my hopes up high and get let down and I think to myself I shouldn’t be thinking like this because he’s been busy.
A week or 2 ago, he said he was willing to pick me up and I was excited to see him. After my business was done, I texted him several times asking if he was coming. He didn’t answer for an hour or 2 because he was sleeping and I figured that he wasn’t coming so I found my own way home. This made me also upset too. Am I in the wrong for feeling like this?
**TL;DR**: my boyfriend cancels plans on me last minute because he’s sleeping. Should I not be sad about it?
5 comments
Your feelings are valid. There’s no “should I be sad about this”. If you are sad, you’re sad.
How has he reacted after he lets you down? Does he apologize? How is the rest of the relationship?
If this is happening a lot, I’d say he’s not making you a priority.
When a partner cancels plans because he’s in the military and has to jet to a global hot-spot, it’s cool because he’s doing what makes him awesome.
When he cancels plans because he’s a lazy cow and cleared a half bottle of vodka and ate some nachos after work, or because he’s lacking in energy, or because he would rather play video games, no sympathy.
Is this the person you want? This is the person you have.
It’s useful to separate “upset about a situation” and “upset at a person.”
Even if your boyfriend is doing the best he can, it’s totally normal to feel disappointed when things don’t work out.
Why shouldn’t you be upset about this? Of course that’s upsetting.
Tbh. I would be upset.
In the beginning of my relationship me & my boyfriend made plans – he was working a lot at the time & I drove two hours to his house while bringing food. I was waiting outside for 20 mins called his phone a few times he didn’t pick up; he fell asleep. It was late at night, I hadn’t met his parents at this point so I couldn’t ring the doorbell – so drove two hours to go back home (got home at 3am). This naturally upset me, told him what bothered me and he eventually changed his behaviour.
He now tells me when he’s tired so I’m aware & on top of that I know it’s not feasible for many, but we see each other 5-7 days a week.
Moral of the story, anyone would be upset especially if you care or love someone. If you are a priority he will make changes, if you aren’t then he will continue to do what he’s doing and you will continue to be hurt and question whether your feelings are valid!