My gf called me abusive and stormed out. I’m pretty down. What do i do?
M30 GF 23F threatened to cut herself. I’m hurt what do i do?
I was upset that she got home kinda late. She ignored me, cried, said i was scary and abusive, threatened to cut herself w my car keys and stormed out of the house to a hotel the moment i left the room.
Her phone is dying and she is weaponizing it as a way to leave me hanging basically.
I can’t say a word or question her because it will kill her phone and because it makes me “abusive”.
I have no idea if she did something so wrong to be acting this way and accusing me of being abusive.
I feel like this behavior is a way to avoid telling me something. Either way, i cant tell her a word.
28 comments
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> threatened to cut herself
Be glad she left. Hope she doesn’t come back.
Change the locks
My advice is that this relationship is not healthy at all and you should leave the relationship. **And stop trying to contact her, just leave her alone.**
Normal healthy relationships don’t involve any of this kind of behavior. But, and I can speak from experience here, extremely unhealthy toxic ones have a lot of it.
If she doesn’t want to be contacted by you, then stop contacting her. That actually is abusive. It’s not “weaponizing” to not accept phone calls from someone, it’s someone saying they have no interest in talking to you. You don’t have any right to “tell her a word” or “question her”. None. If someone feels that strongly enough that they run to a hotel room the second they get the opportunity, then take that as a huge sign something is seriously fucked up and that you need to stop. Again, normal healthy relationships are not like any of this.
So what you do is accept this relationship is over, stop trying to contact her, and go find a therapist to discuss all this with and how things could be handled better in the future.
I can tell you a word. RUN! Dude she did you a favor, she’s bad news and emotionally manipulating you. Best to break up now and don’t look back.
I mean, we have no details about your relationship, but I will say that almost none of this stuff (threats to self-harm, claims of abuse, avoiding telling you something) comes from out of nowhere. I suspect this was not a problem-free relationship prior to this, and if you thought it was, your GF likely had a different view of things. Life doesn’t need to be like this. I would give her a day or so to calm down but also plan a way to end things with her ASAP.
Why were you upset that she got home late? I feel like you’re leaving out info.
Surely she had some reason to call you abusive before she stormed out.
Why were you upset she got home late? That’s the context we need.
There’s a huge difference between being worried because you don’t know where someone is at all, and trying to set curfews on them. The latter is certainly abusive to anyone who is supposedly your equal.
Your relationship sounds very unhealthy for multiple reasons, step back bro.
She is toxic, RUN! Also expect she will accuse you of something soon, would consult with an attorney.
Lacking context, brother, let her go.
Marry this unique creature.
Record any future, minimal contact with her. Put any of her shit in garbage bags. Change the locks. After making arrangements for her to get her shit back, go full NC and block her on everything.
On limited information I think she is emotionally immature and you are at different stages in life. That relationship cannot go on with this kind of behavior. She clearly needs some therapy and you need to find someone you can discuss problems with not yell and fight about them. Move on imo
If you have the means find therapy for yourself. For her, this is beyond you and likely has no reflection on you. It’s up to you what you’re willing to tolerate but I may be asking myself if this is something I’m okay with for the rest of my life?
Either one of you or both of you shouldn’t be in a relationship. Either way, end it now.
Sweetie its time to decide. This behavior is childish and toxic. I think you need to take some time and really decide what you want out of the relationship because she will continue to act like this everytime she doesn’t get her way or when shes trying to manipulate you
Just break up and ever look back. It’ll hurt, but avoiding psycho is a much better long term solution.
Sounds like she has a mental illness. You can’t fix it.
if you genuinely haven’t been abusive, it seems as if therapy will be her only beneficial choice.
this isn’t something you should be dealing with, i’d leave it to a professional.
Her reaction is over the top, but can you explain why she has to be home at a certain time? Based on your post history you seem a bit insecure. If you’re the kind of person that controls her movement and needs to know what she’s doing at all times, then that is abusive. Just because you’re not abusing her in the traditional sense, doesn’t mean you’re not being a bad partner. I could also be totally wrong, but when you ask for advice and leave out so much context, then you’ll get responses from people who are trying to fill in the blanks
Edit: just wanted to add that the way she’s dealing with the situation is also abusive. Maybe because she is so manipulative, that allows you to look past your own toxic behaviors since we tend to look at these situations as dichotomous
Change your locks and get a therapist to confide in. She needs one as well.
She was definitely stepping out and thought she got caught, so she is trying to make you look bad so she feels less guilty.
30 year olds have very little in common with 23 year olds. This relationship is likely unhealthy based on that fact alone. Do with that what you will.
So perhaps don’t date 23 year olds as a 30 year old man and get far away. I hope you learned your lesson.
Feels like a lot of missing missing in your story.
Move on. She is crazy.