Most of the people in this subreddit seem to have completely different problems in their social lives but they also, mostly have the same root causes. That alone is the biggest/most important thing you all have in common, none of you know how to identify the root causes of your problems, so your never making any productive progress. You’ll just be in a constant cycle of frustrating/confusing life experiences, and only feeling happiness/fulfillment in the few moments that your life receives it.
You can’t expect anyone else to like/accept/approve of who you are if your not even comfortable being yourself. If anyone else can make you feel so strongly that you react negatively/impulsively, then they obviously triggered a moment from your past that had a big impact on you or an idea that isn’t comfortable for you to have because it holds some truth. You have to be your biggest bully and your best friend at the same time. So this means, stop lying to yourself, especially the subconscious lies that you barely notice.
One of the lies we convince ourselves to get comfortable with is “ill be fine spending so much time alone”. We mask it up with “people just dont like me” or “i never have anything to say”. But deep down, we’re just not used to being social anymore so we create reasons to justify our lack of interaction. For example, youll think “ she’s one of the cutest girls in school so she wouldnt like me.” When the genuine feeling was actually, “ im too afraid to get rejected so id rather just not try”.
Until your comfortable enough to walk around naked, not caring about what other people would think, then your not comfortable enough. Spend as much time getting to know why you are the way you are. I honestly dont even want to try to explain more steps because it would just add more stress. So ill just leave it with the first and most critical step. Get to know yourself and get comfortable being you. Everything else falls in line after that, trust me.