We have been together 18 month. So long story short. Me and my friend went out for some drinks. Just casually and he finished work at 10. We had a lot. Went to his house and I fell asleep on the sofa leaning on my bestfriend. They went to take me to bed and I sprawled put in my sleep so she sat on the other sofa with him and they were just watching TV.
He tried to kiss her and she put her elbow in the way and then asked her can they kiss while I was asleep next to them. She said no and got an Uber home instantly. He ran after her begging to not tell me and she said if he doesnt she will. He cried as she waited outside for the taxi begging and she left.
He woke me up shortly after – I was nice and cute with him as I didn’t know and then he told me. I left instantly and idk what to do. I love him so
Much and my Friend said she thinks as soon as she said no he realised how bad he fucked ip but is this relationship worth trying to save. I know this will make me so insecure now and I’m so scared.
He went to sleep straight after I believe. I’ve not heard from him and I’m off to work now.
Do I try save this?
42 comments
No. He doesn’t feel sorry for the act but for getting rejected by your friend and getting caught. Dump him.
It’s hard to argue for saving something when he wasn’t even bothered by you being *right there*. Not to mention taking the most pathetic route possible, begging her not to tell you. He cried? Those weren’t tears of remorse. He only confessed because she forced his hand, no way he’d be honest otherwise.
Keep connections with the people who have your back, not those ready to go behind your back.
Definitely not worth it, you were there. He begged her not to tell you and only told you cause he was forced to do so
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Btw i would hug your friend if i were you, she is clearly an amazing human who actually cares for you
Only you know what to do in this situation; if you’re asking for validation here, I’d suggest leaving him!
More importantly, how Is your friend after his unwelcome advances.
It could have been worse! What would he have done if she’d reciprocated??
Be strong and true to your convictions.
Nope. He tried to take a chance with your best friend while you were right there. Imagine what he does with strangers when you’re not with him.
He will try it with all your friends and every girl he meets in a bar.
If he couldn’t even keep his hands off your friend, that shows how little he loves cares or respects you.
Dump him. He’s trash.
Drinks are not an excuse to harass your friend as he did. She was in a safe space and he decided to push her into kiss him and later pressure her to stay and to stay quiet. It’s very rapey, is very fucked up.
Imagine your friend leaving under those circumstances. Pick your friend, leave that whinny creep.
What is there to save? He tried that shit with your best friend while you were right there. You’ll never be able to trust that he isn’t chasing after other girls every time you’re not at his side and conscious.
“Do I try save this?”
Short answer: no. Leave his sorry ass and put the time, effort and emotions you would have spent trying to make him feel better into moving on, putting yourself first, and – if/when the time is right – finding a decent man!
He tried to cheat with your best friend? Hell no. Lose the guy, keep the friend.
Sounds like a genuinely good friend. Keep the best friend, dump the boyfriend.
>Do I try save this?
No.
If he’s willing to shoot his shot with your best friend while you’re right next to them, imagine what he does when you’re not around.
Leave.
‘He’s not like this’
He is like this. You had an image of him in your head where he was this nice, perfect guy. But he is not this person. I know it’s hard, but you should break up with him.
You have a really good best friend, I wouldn’t disappoint her.
It doesn’t matter how much you love him. He doesn’t love you.
It would be stupid to try to save this. He tried to cheat on you with your best friend while you were asleep right next to them. Fortunately, your friend appears to actually be a good person who loves and respects you, unlike your boyfriend.
Make him an ex. Or pay the price. Chances are, this won’t be the last time he’s unfaithful.
He was trying to cheat on you literally next to you. Why would you stay? Don’t disrespect yourself like that. If you stay, he will do this again, but with someone who doesn’t know you.
Hell no. He will hook up with anyone behind your back for sure. He didn’t try behind your back with your BFF. He tried to hook up with her under the same roof you’re were sleeping under. You see his true colors and yet you’re ok with keeping a cheater around. Do you love him enough to love the STD’s that he will be bringing you too?
Well your BFF is a keeper. Boyfriend – is a loser.
Probably your next post is about your bf wants to fuck my best friend and I. He will do it again.
Dude has no respect for you or your friend. It’s painful – but dump him and move on. He doesn’t value you or your relationship.
This really sucks for you because you thought you had someone who really cared. But dude tried to cheat in front of you. Luckily you’re best friend is fantastic and didn’t let that happen. You should leave him, if he’s willing to do that in front of you with your best friend imagine what he’s willing to do behind your back. You’ll find someone who cares about you they way you care about them and this’ll all feel like a bad dream
Absolutely do not try to save this. You were literally asleep next to him and he tried it on with your best friend. That’s cheating, and he’s a sleazebag. The only reason he told you is because he was forced to. You can do so much better.
Erm no honey, he would of slept with your friend if she didn’t turn him down.. and if he willing to do this while you sleep in the same room imagine what he done while you ain’t around.
Break up with him and be done
If you love a Guy who literally tried to cheat on you and even tried to cover it up. Well then stay with such Person. Not sure what we are supposed to tell you here, we also dont know you, dont know him. Personally he is a disgusting beeing for me.
Also that you seem to think about saving this makes me believe you might be not ready for a Relationship yet, first develope yourself, get to love yourself and understand your worth. No one with Self Worth would stay with a Partner that openly tried to cheat and cover it. Sorry if that sounds rude.
OP, your comments are being downvoted, and I’m not sure why.
1. Your feelings are valid. This includes the love you feel for him, the disbelief, betrayal, and more. Soon, you’ll have anger, maybe some bargaining thoughts, etc. But most importantly, during this time, you need to go against some thoughts and feelings and take your best interests at heart.
2. You need to take some space. It’s time to get perspective and allow yourself to feel these things without being love bombed by him or hearing him say how much he is ‘sorry’.
3. It’s okay to love someone and let them go if it comes down to it. Memories will always be there, and that’s the ugly part of breakups, especially if they wronged you. Learning to accept things as they are, forgive, and moving on allows you to live your life without the power of their betrayal holding you down.
4. No one here actually knows the right thing for you to do. They can give you advice, but you need to assess your best interests and relationship on your own. Trust is a 2-way street. There are those who work on their relationships, but trust will be strained. Some make it, but ultimately, it’s up to you now if you want to continue this. Take that space I talked about. You’ll know what to do. As for him? Break contact, draw boundaries. If he breaks those boundaries, you’ll know he 100% does not care for what he’s done.
No.
Boyfriend< 🗑️🔥
sit down and talk to him. This appears to be a case of too much alcohol, especially if he passed out almost immediately.
Who cares if he realized his mistake, he tried to cheat and got busted. No need to keep his ass around.
No. Walk away.
No.
What is there to save?
You found out he’s a cheater. You were in a vulnerable state and he decided to try and mess around with your best friend. He’s a loser. Move on.
Not worth saving at all, he tried to hit a chance with ur best friend not to forget u were sleeping next to them and then he begged her not to tell u when she refused
Choices have consequences OP, he chose to go behind your back and victimize your friend. What should a suitable consequence for this be?
If you chose to stay with someone who has demonstrated that they shouldn’t be trusted, what does a probable consequence for that choice look like?
Hey OP, I’ve seen a lot of your comments basically in denial of this situation and trying really hard to cope. You said you were insecure, so I feel like those attempts to try and save the relationship definitely stem from that. You’re scared to be alone and you likely feel like you don’t have anyone else besides him or can’t find someone better. But trust me, you most definitely will and in order to find someone better, you need to better yourself. And that requires building self respect through alone time and time with friends.
I really hope you take the advice from the comments and break up from him, and I would even suggest you completely ghost him and go no contact for your own healing. It’ll be such a big step for you in learning self respect. Do not let trash men treat you like this and get away with it.
I’ve been with a man who ended up cheating on me similarly; he got really drunk and started touching a friend of mine at a party. The thing is, despite how great he was to me as a person, he would always pull this shit when drunk. It just showed a complete lack of correct morals as well as respect towards others / himself and that should be an instant dealbreaker. Once that happened to me, I immediately cut contact with him and refused any attempts at saving the relationship because honestly, why even waste your time and effort trying to mend this when you know people like that don’t change (ESPECIALLY if you let them get away with it). Finding someone else is easier than trying to change someone. And yes, I found someone so much better who I completely trust because I know they have good morals.
I’ve seen too many people with a lack of self respect try to save a relationship broken by cheating. It has never worked… Just a waste of more of YOUR time and you will feel so much more insecure being with someone who doesn’t even respect you – someone who will continue looking at other women and wanting to fuck them. So please, respect yourself and cut him off.
He tried to cheat on you, and right next to you, and with your best friend, then tried to hide it from you.
4 counts of disrespect.
He’s trash – don’t waste your time
No.
He would have screwed your best friend had she not been disgusted by his betrayal. He is going to do it again. Do you really want to spend your time with a guy you cannot trust. A guy that cried in front of your gf because he tried to make out with her? He is a boy. Move on, you deserve better.
You don’t. I’ve walked away from a friendship where my friend’s husband would constantly try to do this with her friends, and they would tell her and she would believe him over and over again. There is no fixing this.
He’s not worth it. He’s what we call an opportunist. He will try to get whatever he can if he sees an opportunity with a woman. This probably wasn’t the first time he’s tried this and won’t be the last.