I have a friend I met online who wants me to let him dominate me a bit and suggests that I might need someone like that since I have a vivid imagination and can get wet easily. Does that make sense? It leaves me feeling confused a bit but I get turned on. He’s been very nice overall.
He encourages me all the time. And even makes me feel comfortable and at ease when he talks about things I find intimidating. He insists I’ll need to try whatever he wants but he’s nice about it. Are these normal feelings? He tends to like talking about sexually relatable things most, and will often say something sexual in all his emails, even when we’re just talking about normal stuff. He’s also mentioned that if I don’t try what he’s wanting then I’d be disciplined. He said he’d spank me and give me corner time. Although I told him those thoughts intimadate me a bit, because he knows it makes me wet he insists it’s normal and it would make him happy. Is there something wrong with me?
3 comments
No, there’s nothing wrong with you at all. BDSM is a common fetish, and it is a sexual dynamic that it sounds like he’s into. I think that if you’re leaning into his assertions, then maybe you should look into exploring the BDSM world. I do think it is a dynamic you should consent to be in before he just starts saying things like he’s going to punish you, spank you, etc. Especially if it makes you a bit uncomfortable.
Nothing wrong with you. Lots of people are into it.
But I would say be very careful about people you meet online. He is already talking what he wants and what you *need* to do because it’s what he likes and would make you happy.
What he is suggesting requires giving up control, consent and that requires trust and knowing you are with someone you are safe with.
You should be able to talk about your limits and boundaries and if he balks ar it or continues to push only what he wants over your needs and comfort, reconsider if that’s a partner that has your best interests
Absolutely nothing with with you. Having a vivid imagination and getting wet easily is NOT a sign you are into kinks and fetishes. Those are normal things in a healthy sexual person and are no indication at all of any interest in BDSM
2nd BDSM needs full consent. He can’t just decide to dominate you and punish you for not following his suggestions just because he wants to. You should have had a full discussion of what he’s interested in, what you want as well as discussing limits, “punishments” etc. You have to agree that you will both play by specific rules before you do any.
Anyone who says they are a dom and doesn’t do this, or insists this is not necessary, is not a dom and is simply using that role/title to get what they want from you. There is a bdsm subreddit where you can see those kinds of questions. This is not ok. Anyone in the bdsm community well tell you this.
Do a bit of research. Check out the bdsm sub and make sure you are ready to engage with him on this topic
Having said that if you are interested you should look into it but I caution against this guy since he seems to think being a dom gives him unilateral power to do what he wants without any discussions or consent