I’m asking this question because I’m wondering about the consummation of marriage part. I know that you can’t have penetrative sex soon after giving birth as you have to wait around 6 weeks before you can have sex again. Does it mean that the marriage is legally an unsuccessful one if you weren’t able to consummate on the same night of getting married due to health concerns. We both aren’t necessarily religious and I don’t think we will have a church wedding. I’m not sure if that makes any difference of consummating.

14 comments
  1. > Does it mean that the marriage is legally an unsuccessful one if you weren’t able to consummate on the same night of getting married due to health concerns.

    The fact that you think a married couple has to have sex the night they are married for it to be lawful makes me scared that you’re taking care of a child.

  2. It is fine, many people don’t consummate the marriage on their wedding night, nerves or other reasons.

    Enjoy your wedding and honeymoon. Especially with your baby.

    Don’t worry about consummating until after she recovers.

  3. The sex thing is not the problem here but I’m wondering why you particularly want to get married so soon after you have a baby? Also, do you know exactly when your baby will be born or are you just going by a due date? Unsure if you are the one giving birth or if it is your partner but will you/they be recovered enough to enjoy the day?

  4. 2 weeks after my baby was born, I was not going *grocery shopping*. If it wasn’t a doctor’s appointment I couldn’t even fathom making it work. I would have cancelled my own wedding.

    Not to mention, most babies are not born on their due date. The due date is an estimate, not a fact. Baby might only be 1 week old, or even less, on this date you’re looking at. And regardless of how old the baby is, where will it be during this wedding? It won’t have the immune system to be safe around huge crowds, especially since your wedding guests will be friends and family who want to hold them. How is baby being fed, when they need to eat every 1-2 hrs?

    And as for consummating the marriage, I don’t know why you think that’s a legal requirement, it certainly isn’t anywhere in North America. It often takes longer than 6 weeks for the person who gave birth to be recovered enough to even think about it. I’m at almost ten weeks here and still haven’t been capable, and that’s not for lack of trying.

    Honestly as some folks have said, even asking these questions has me a bit concerned for you.

  5. In several states you can get an annulment if the marriage wasn’t consummated, so her question isn’t dumb like some of you are making it out to be.

    To answer it politely – no you don’t have to consummate the marriage, and please do wait at least 6 weeks. Plan on getting birth control as well – you will be extremely fertile for the first several months post partum (after baby is born). Pull out can easily fail here and your body/mind need time to heal.

    If it’s a first time baby then Of COURSE they’re naive to how they’ll be feeling, btw. They’ve never done this before. But yes – like some stated – it will be really hard to get married when the baby is that young. Mom will feel like utter shit, hormonal, like they’re having the worst period of their lives, and just flat out exhausted. Take that time to nest – stay home, get rest, get to know your baby, and try to find time for yourselves for self care, a break, etc. Which doesn’t mean call in sitters or going out – it means taking shifts so each parent gets time to breathe, eat, shower, and sleep without having to keep another human alive.

    All that said, if you get married congrats – but if you can swing it, I’d wait until at least 3 months port partum. You’ll be feeling sort of like yourself again, and you’ll probably have some routines established for you both and baby that will make the whole experience more enjoyable.

    Congrats!

  6. Yeah….you do know there’s no actual law about having sex right? As soon as you sign the papers and the officiant signs/submits then you are legally married

  7. Oh bloody hell dude – please do not get married a mere two weeks after having a baby! Sleepless nights, heavy bleeding, heywire hormones, pp healing just to name a few!

    Edit: also was sick with anxiety the night of our wedding so we only consumâted it the more big after, it doesn’t matter when you consumate your marriage although a partner can get the marriage annuléd for non consummation.

  8. At 2 weeks post-partum you will still be wearing diapers. You will still have stitches. Your nipples will be chapped and your breasts engorged and leaking. You will be waking every two hours to take care of an infant. Penetrative sex is like the least of your concerns. Horrible time to get married.

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