Whenever I have sex I feel the need to be hit or hit my head with the wall or the wood of the bed, I asked my boyfriend to slap my face but he refused, then he told me that it’s not normal and that maybe there is something wrong with me (psychologically) why do I feel that ? And is he right ? He said he can never hit someone
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Slapping (and choking) has become more common in mainstream porn. But keep in mind most guys are taught only abusive creeps hit women. There’s nothing wrong with either of you, but if he doesn’t want to do it, then that’s that. You either accept it, or you decide he’s not sexually compatible.
I do think it’s worth a conversation outside sex. He should kink shame you, and you shouldn’t pressure him.
Had a GF in college, who asked, after we’d fucked a few times for me to choke and slap her. Kinda freaked me out but I gave it a try. Then she wanted me to slap her harder and TBH that kinda turned me off so I started dating a different chick
A few weeks later she saw me at a party and hit my over the head with an empty liquor bottle for breaking up with her.
Nah that shits weird. Sex is supposed to be enjoyable and romantic. Porn got yall acting all kinds of wild.
There is nothing wrong with you if you like a little slap here and there while having sex.
The thing is, internet has made it difficult for some people to read context and think everything is bad, because you’ll always find someone saying it is. Also, it’s a little dangerous to do it with someone you don’t really know since if it leaves a mark it can be used against you eventually.
Is it normal? It’s not common, but it’s not uncommon. Is there something wrong with you? No. But if your partner is not comfortable doing X, then don’t ask them to do X.
Would he be ok slapping your tits or ass? Maybe this could lead to a few face slaps. Or slapping your face with his cock. You could do that one for him. See? You have options.
In the middle of sex is not the time to bring up a lot of kinks. You may feel spontaneity is hotter, but you risk a reaction like you got. Have a talk either with him, or possibly your next partner who you might more sexually compatible with, pre-coitus and discuss the particulars and why you enjoy it. It may be too late as the tone has already been set for this particular act.
I’ve participated in kinks that I was on the fence about because it made my partner happy and they talked with me about it before we tried it. I’ve also noped out of situations where a partner springs a kink on me that is way too much to ask out of left field.
I hope things go well, but you got to work on communication.
Yep, I’m with him. I couldn’t do that to any partner. Spanking, sure. Beating you up or hitting your face? Hell, no.
Your boyfriend has boundaries and he’s well within his right to not want to do it. He’s right – It’s not normal, but that doesn’t make it wrong. It’s not healthy, but it may be how you’re wired.
Associating violence and sex is not something that comes naturally. It comes from somewhere, and if you want to address it, you might benefit from at least understanding why so that you can find people who will treat you how you want. You have to know what you want to communicate it to other people.
Some guys want to please you and will ask what you want when you want to be hit. Many will use it as an excuse to treat you badly and do only what they want as an outlet for their own wants to do not so healthy things.
If you have an uncontrollable compulsion to be hit, you have a mental health issue, seek professional help.
If you are in control of the feeling to be hit and can choose whether or not you want to use it to enhance your sexual experience, you have a kink, do as you please.
I just read a article about a woman who wanted it very rough, she hit her head very hard on the headboard and gave herself a serious concussion she lost 5 years of her memory. Luckily for her boyfriend they were filming themselves and he had to prove that he wasn’t beating her. Not a good place to put yourself or boyfriend in.
There’s nothing wrong with you and he shouldn’t be shaming you for what you’re into. This is a common kink.
But he is also entitled to refuse to do it, and you have to accept that. Don’t push. And next time, bring this stuff up outside of a sexual context. It’s not cool to spring this on someone in the moment.
It’s a sexual incompatibility, and you need to decide whether it’s a dealbreaker for you or not.
If he asked to hit you during sex you’d think something was wrong with him right?
Are we talking about, like, light slaps? Or do you want him to give you an open hand that will wake up the neighbors and have the cops at the door?? Either way you’re putting a fair bit of pressure on him, to do something that can be very taboo, and potentially damaging to him if things got weird. But…. maybe you can set some boundaries with him, be supportive, and ease him into it, explaining very carefully that it’s not abusive and something that turns you on. As always, communicating with each other is the key. Just don’t be too surprised if his answer is still no though. Many men would see this as not worth the risk, and rightfully so.
The only smacking I’ll be taking is on my ass, thank you very much.
I wouldn’t feel comfortable having my partner slap me in the face but that doesn’t mean that it makes you abnormal.
That’s a real slap in the face, isn’t it…
Everyone has their kinks but I have to agree with him on this. I couldn’t hit my wife. She has asked me to choke her and I did it lightly and still wasn’t comfortable with it. She never asked again.
You respect his right to say no. He has every bit as much right to say no as you do.
But no, there is also nothing wrong with you per say. We can’t all help what we’re into.
There is nothing wrong with you. There is nothing wrong with him. You want to explore something. It makes him uncomfortable. I don’t like the judgement in the other comments I’ve read. I think in this circumstance, your partner has been a little overly direct and mean, but he is entitled to not want to do this.
My girlfriend just asked me to slap her too. I did it once, I told her I’m not a fan but since she likes it I’ll get used to it. I didn’t like pulling her hair at first either. Baby steps
i asked my bf to choke me he didn’t want to so i didn’t force him to. if this is a deal breaker for you cut ties. or ask him to slap you sometimes. my bf will choke me sometimes but not all the time, we’ve agreed to that
I’ve asked to get slapped too and my husband refuses because he doesn’t want to hurt me and says it feels wrong hitting his wife.
There’s nothing wrong with that request, and there’s nothing wrong with him refusing it. Slapping has become more common now because of porn but it ultimately falls under the bdsm umbrella. Not everyone is into that
A lot of people with sensory processing stuff often like hard touch. I actually need it during sex to keep me grounded and in my body.