Why are some people so pushy in the name of wanting the best for you?

2 comments

1. I believe there are two sides to this. Tough love is a real thing. I’ve had people in my life give me cold, hard truths about things I was doing, and almost every time, I was frustrated that they would call me out. As time has passed, I’ve come to realize that many, many of these difficult confrontations were rooted in the fact that the person ultimately loved me, wanted what was best for me, and saw potential in me when I didn’t. The key is the last part – they saw potential in me that I didn’t even know I had. This, in many aspects, is what is most beautiful about relationships imo. I look back on these moments with immense gratitude because, although they were tough, frustrating, and even irritating at the time, they’ve shaped me into a better person than I believe I would’ve been.

   The other side of this is when these confrontations aren’t rooted in love. Instead, they’re rooted in any number of negative intentions: jealousy, selfishness, resentment. Unfortunately, these confrontations also happen, and as time passes, it’s often easier to discern the confrontations that came from bad intentions.

   I guess my point is to be in charge of yourself, your emotions, and your decisions. Listen when people try to give you advice, even when it’s hard. In the end, it’s up to you to choose what to do with it and decide if it’s good advice.

2. >I’ve come across people in life who seem to be very opinionated about what you do and how you do it, almost to the point of arguing with you about something they feel would be best for you, even if you don’t personally agree.
   My question is, why do some people come off so pushy and insistent about how you live your life, from what you want to order on a menu to whether or not you should make a major career change?

   I have come across those people myself. They are pushy and insistent because they feel they feel they know more than you. The people who’ve treated me that way are older than me, so I can’t say they didn’t know more than me. But the thing is, more often than not, they just said, “No!” to an option without suggesting an alternative. Some of the speeches they gave me said stuff like, “I don’t want you making the same mistakes I did!” I’ll give them that but it’s not like another option is mistake-free or that me going the route they did wouldn’t turn out well!

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   >Especially when it doesn’t negatively affect them in any way, why bother trying to pressure someone into seeing the value in saying or doing something only you think is valuable to them?

   I know! When I brought that up, they tried to guilt me by saying they were trying to do a good deed or something altruistic like that.

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   >I could care less about from what someone orders off of a menu to them unexpectedly leaving a job, whether or not I think it’s a good idea. We’re all adults, so who I am to emotionally hold someone hostage over a choice I don’t think is best for them (unless it has to do with their life being in jeopardy?) Even with innocent suggestions, i never insist that someone do something, even if I think it would genuinely do them well, more than twice. I’ve had people almost argue with me as to why I should or shouldn’t do one thing or another and demand to know why I won’t take their advice.

   I hear you. Who am I to tell anyone to do anything?