How important is celebrating birthdays and holidays, and getting gifts as adults?

37 comments

1. I stopped caring about birthdays somewhere in high school. Same with other holidays, I celebrate them because others do, I couldn’t care less personally.

2. Really depends on the person

   I stopped having celebrations by the time I was in 7th or 8th grade. Never did anything for my birthday in high school or college.

   Honestly, I sorta miss doing things for my birthday. But I very much so come from a family that equals birthday parties/huge holiday celebrations as something that is only done when there are young children involved. Unspoken concept of “time to grow up now”. Which is a hard mentality to breakaway from if that’s what you are raised with it.

3. I find it more important to hang out and just be happy we’re alive than get some crazy gift. Maybe a gift w meaning would be cool, but really, let’s just hang out!!

4. This varies widely. It is not an American thing but an individual thing.
   Among people I know some adults barely acknowledge events and some go all out. No one adult I know demands gifts from everyone.

   I feel that people have their reasons and it is not my place to judge them celebrating or not.

5. There isn’t a universal feeling on this amongst adult Americans, this is just an individual thing.

6. Obsession over people getting you gifts is unhealthy, yes. That said, celebrating holidays that involve gifts and celebrating your birthday and these holidays is by no means immature. A grown man or woman can enjoy getting a gift from their close friends.

7. Personally, my family will do something for my birthday regardless of what I plan. If I don’t give them some guidelines, what they do will be bad, and no one will have a good time. So I tend to end up sending them a list and planning something so they can’t.

   I’m a lot more flexible with friends, but they all know me well enough to not mess up if they want to get me something.

   I don’t really care that much, I just don’t want my family to mess it up too badly lol

8. Its going to vary. My husband does not celebrate is birthday in the slightest, but I try to do some small things for him to still make it special. I, on the other hand, like celebrating my birthday. My husband always gets me flowers and a gift, as well as makes sure we go out to eat whatever I want as well as some kind of desert in which I get a candle. My friends often send me stuff or request to take me out. Some years I will host a small like hang out as a party. Though, I don’t expect anything from anyone. If all they can give me is a moment of their time to say “Happy Birthday”, thats the best present ever.

   Though, the reason I celebrate more as an adult is because my birthday is shared with a holiday. So as a kid, I rarely had birthday parties on my actual birthday, if at all, and instead had to share my birthday with a stupid holiday at a family party. So me giving myself parties as an adult is redemption for that.

9. It’s a nice gesture but I’m more interested in having a good beer and good food around the holidays

   I have everything I want and can buy it for myself any time of the year

10. I celebrate my birthday by getting some Caribou coffee before work, getting my favorite lunch during the day, and then my family and I go to my favorite restaurant. I treat my bf like this on his birthday, etc etc. No gifts expected, just a little “treat yo’self” type of day.

    Christmas is about the only holiday where I would expect a gift and give them in return.

11. It’s not a huge deal to me but I would like at least some acknowledgment that it’s my birthday or whatever and they took a little bit of time finding something I would like. Whether it’s a box of chocolate, an activity for me to do, or some other special treat. If you just pick up some random item from the gas station I would rather you not bother. I’d like just a bit more effort than that.

12. Personally (34 year old guy), the only acknowledgement I give regarding birthdays/holidays is that I may not work that day. Outside of that, I couldn’t even tell you the last time I participated in any of them.

13. As long as my gf remembers my birthday, I’m good. Don’t even need a present or a cake or anything, just a happy birthday.

    That said, we go all out for each other for birthdays and Christmas. I don’t expect anything from anyone else and would feel weird about getting something.

14. I want the people that are close to me to acknowledge it. The only person I expect to buy me a present is my wife. And I always take it off of work and do something for myself.

15. I never cared for any of that. I haven’t celebrated my birthday in 30 years.

16. This varies a lot by family. Growing up, my parents didn’t really have birthdays. I knew when their birthdays were and my sister and I always made “cards” for them, but that was about it. The exception would be the decade holidays (30/40/50), they would usually have some kind of party with their friends.

    My wife on the other hand, her family goes all out for every adult birthday. It’s caused some contention over the years when I get annoyed having to host a birthday dinner for her mother or having to do a dinner one night and then a party the next night for her sisters birthday. And then she gets annoyed with me when she asks what I want to do for my birthday, and I say “nothing really”. After 20+ years of marriage, I just say something I know our kids would want to do anymore.

17. I don’t expect or need gifts.

    It feels good that the people you care about recognize that it is your birthday though, that you are important enough in their lives that they want to express their appreciation for you. People like mattering.

    What I do on my birthday is host a huge board game night, so I can have different friends from different parts of my life get together and have fun. My only real tradition.

18. My birthday is really just a normal day for me. I appreciate it when people acknowledge it, but it’s a pretty minor thing. I think the last birthday party I had was when I turned 12? As an adult I just feel weird making a big deal out of a day that’s centered entirely around me. Feels a bit narcissistic.

19. It varies greatly person to person.

    For me, I would rather not celebrate mine.

    That’s just a personal preference, I don’t judge others who like to make a thing of it as long as they don’t become truly obnoxious about it.

20. Birthdays, normally not. I dread my birthday because I have to pretend the gifts are things I enjoy.

    Holidays once you have a kid? Absolutely.

21. Some people really enjoy celebrating their birthday and the birthdays of others. Other people don’t enjoy it. It really just depends on the person. There is no set rule or tradition in our culture (frankly, there’s a significant amount of birthday traditions but no _single_ tradition)

    I personally fall in the latter group. I had one year where not a single person said a thing until the day after when they realized they forgot and it was the best birthday present I ever got.

22. I don’t care all that much about receiving gifts for any reason. In fact, most of the time I would rather not. It’s all just *stuff* anyway.

    Giving though, I’m huge on giving thoughtful gifts. I love it. I love finding that meaningful gift that might even move someone to tears.

23. By the time I hit 30, my ideal birthday was just a calm day without stress or responsibilities.

    It’s reasonably common to have a larger celebration for occasional milestones — 50, 70, whatever.

24. There really isn’t a general consensus on it. Everyone celebrated differently. I personally don’t make a big deal about it and if I do anything it’s usually a small gathering

25. None of my friends give each other birthday presents.

    I don’t need or particularly want to be given objects as gifts, but I do care about celebrating in a memorable way (for example, sometimes I travel for my birthday).

26. Actually receiving gifts? No thank you.
    Let’s go out for dinner, drinks, dessert… something with food, I don’t care what or where, just Yes.
    But a gift? Naaah, save your cash.

    And, out for dinner or drinks, it doesn’t need to be a big group. Just 1-2 people? Fantastic!
    Birthdays stopped being a big deal to me sometime during college. 21? 22? I’m not a ‘focus on me’ type of person anyways.

27. > immature and self-centered as an adult.

    If you don’t take time for yourself sometimes, you’ll look up one day and be dead. Being an adult is no excuse to stop enjoying yourself.

28. I love Halloween and Christmas. I will happily celebrate someone else’s birthday and I love giving gifts. I will not celebrate my birthday. Not ever again. Nothing to do with getting older, just a long history of shitty birthdays and I finally put my foot down with my family. No more celebrations. I’m either working or out of town deliberately on my birthday.

29. At least for me and my family the gifts for birthdays become less and less important. Christmas is still big on gifts and thoughtful ones each year but it is really more focused on the kids.

    The celebration of some kind is still really important.

    But we have 330 million people so you are definitely not going to get a single answer to this question.

30. I don’t are too much for my birthday, although my fiancee loves to be a little extra for me. I think milestone years (30, 40, etc) are okay to have a bigger celebration with a party and friends.

31. Expecting gifts as an adult with your own money is exceptionally distasteful.

    Caring about your “special day” is fine, I guess, but feels immature.

32. I occasionally want a small party, maybe just a gathering of family and friends, but not every year. I expect no gifts.

33. We didn’t celebrate birthdays in my family. As an adult it would probably be fine if it happened but I don’t find it necessary.

34. [removed]

35. Christmas you’d mostly give your immediate family and significant other gifts once you’re an adult. Birthdays depend on the person but overwhelmingly you’d only get your significant other a birthday gift. Birthday parties once you’re an adult mostly don’t exist other than surprise parties or small get togethers with friends where you don’t do much special besides going out to do something or hanging out when you otherwise wouldn’t or going to dinner with your parents/siblings/wife/kids. Exceptions do apply but if its a birthday thing its mostly the person whose birthday it is planning a party or making sure things happen.

36. In my family, they are incredibly important such that we celebrate the individual and their importance to the family; in my husband’s family, it’s childish. I win this war annually.

37. I haven’t received an intentional gift on my birthday or a holiday in years. It’s nice, but not necessary (for me).