For context, this was an online relationship.
Friends from my state have a Discord server with some of their out of state friends and this is where I met, let’s call him A (M18). A is a really harsh and mean under the guise of it being ironic or, “for a bit,” and before starting a relationship with A, I was the target of these “jokes,” (which were mostly mocking my mannerisms and attacking me as a person) for a while. You’re probably thinking of how big of a red flag this is but moving on for now. This kind of animosity from A (who I thought was attractive at the time) sparked a huge conflict because I absolutely just was done with being treated badly, after A and I had a conversation in which he apologized to me.
Flash forward a few weeks/months later, A and I were actually getting to know each other as people and confessed an interest in each other. And decided to see each other on the down low. This kind of secrecy made A a different person around the rest of the friend group, still continuing to tell me to, “shut my fucking mouth,” calling me a bitch, among other things. In all honesty, I just took it because in my mind it was all jokes and banter, not realizing just how much it hurt. Just taking insult after insult.
When it was just us it was nice and I felt happy, but the relationship kind of dwindled due to miscommunication and busy schedules and I was convinced A didn’t care about me, so I messaged him to talk about it and we both concluded that we should still try and that we cared about each other but it was still uneasy. One night about a few days ago A and I were in a call with friends and he was flirting with me so I felt better about the relationship. An hour later, I leave the group call, watch some YT. I go back online to see him on the server talking to someone else and take it as a chance to hit him up and tell him I wanna talk but he tells me I should sleep, I decided to be sarcastic and say, “obviously you don’t wanna talk to me.” (referring to him talking to someone else) This is where it goes downhill when he starts telling me it’s too late in the morning, he doesn’t know what I want from him, and he doesn’t know if he wants to do this anymore. I fold completey and tell him he’s right and I ended to right there.
Fast forward to another call a day or two later where some friends and I are playing a video game together. A joins and the hostility was at 100%. Despite many other people in the call, he was completely targeting me, mocking my voice, my enthusiasm for the game I was playing, and at that point I just wanted to cry. Then I decided to mute him completely, feeling better that I didn’t have to listen or care about anything he had to say. I didn’t want to play a certain role in the game my friends and I were playing because I wasn’t fun for me and suddenly another person goes, “you’re right she is weakminded.” (referring to me) I paused for a second to realize that A he said that about me, and again, I felt completely crushed.
Now he’s talking to another girl on the server (not complaining cause we did decide to break it off, but still hurts) and I keep checking and checking to see how late they stay up and I just want to stop being so attached. Without saying too much A has a troubled life and some part of me knows he cares/cared, but I cannot take anymore “jokes,” at my expense. I miss him for though but he’s seemingly moved on. What should I do?