I met my fwb a couple months ago as we matched on a dating site and we immediately hit it off. We started out texting for around 2 – 3 weeks before meeting up, because our schedules didn’t match up and even over text, we had amazing chemistry. That didn’t change when we started seeing each other in person and we’ve been hanging out regularly since then.
We were very open about not exactly knowing what we were looking for when we started seeing each other, so I was kind of surprised when he called me one night to tell me that we should stop sleeping together because “I am not what he’s looking for in a relationship”.
That was around two weeks into us hanging out in person. I was confused, since we’d never talked about putting a label on anything, but he said he’d love to hang out as friends nonetheless, since he really enjoys my company, so we agreed on that.
We lasted less than a week until we landed in bed again, however, and since then, our dynamic has shifted a lot.
Before this, we’d had a very “friendly” way of treating each other besides the sex, but since then, I’ve been getting mixed signals from him non-stop.
He’s extremely affectionate when we’re alone, always touching me, tickling me, making sure I’m eating and drinking enough, going out of his way to make sure I’m as content and comfortable as I can be.
He makes plans for us to go on what I would call dates, where he invites me out for dinner, suggests all kinds of activities for the two of us, includes me when he talks about his life in the future, etc.
All of that has caused me to grow extremely emotionally attached to him, to the point where I’d say I’m close to falling in love with him.
I know that I should’ve talked to him about this sooner, but at this point I’m afraid of scaring him off, since I don’t want to lose him completely.
Am I being delusional, or is it reasonable to assume that he’s also caught feelings?
And how would I go about talking to him about it without “scaring him off”, if that’s not the case?
Thank you in advance!
3 comments
If you scare him off, then you move on. Nothing is going to happen if you don’t take the risk and talk it out.
You’d be surprised how many guys want the girlfriend experience without the label. It’s entirely possible he has feelings for you but it’s also entirely possible those feelings aren’t what you think. I was fwb with a guy who always bought me gifts and went on “dates” and all that stuff and when I said I was catching feelings he wasn’t interested anymore. Don’t hold onto something because you’re scared of being rejected otherwise you’re going to get yourself stuck in deeper and it will hurt ten times more if it doesn’t work out. Rip off the Band-Aid and tell him how you feel. The sooner the better. Don’t waste your time if it’s not necessary. Good luck!
Typically, Men fall in love first but women say it first.
If it feels like he’s behaving lovingly he probably is, but if he risks saying it before knowing you feel it, he knows it’s over. Either tell him or start pouring it on until you’re a little more sure.