TDLR — So my boyfriend told me that about this cup, it’s a thermos cup with stickers all over it that belonged to his ex, and he has kept it to drink out of. He said she left it in his car one day and he was going to clean it for her and give it back but, she broke up with him before he could return it. He has chosen to keep the cup and I don’t know why. The thing that makes me uncomfortable is that he has a *passionate disdain* for cups with stickers on them and this cup in particular, has stickers on it specific to his his ex’s liking (they’re not random – they’re hers; places shes worked, things she likes, etc.)
When he brought up his dilemma with keeping the cup to me, his concern was whether or not he should:
**1.** give the cup back to his ex (who he doesn’t necessarily speak to but, does see at least once a week because they are both apart of the same exercise group).
OR
**2.** keep the cup for himself.
I just don’t understand why he would want to keep this cup. It’s a cup that belonged to his ex, and a it’s a cup that he doesn’t even like. It’s covered in stickers, and he absolutely HATES when cups are covered in stickers. So why? Why keep a cup that will only remind him that it belonged to his ex every time he uses it?
I’m scared that it’s a sentiment thing. He has other cups, cups from past jobs, and every time he uses one of them he tells me about how much he love/hated working there so I don’t think I’m crazy from assuming that he feels something when he uses her cup (the memory of her is literally plastered all over the cup). But maybe I’m thinking too much into it.
For myself, I am very sentimental with things. But, keeping something so trivial from an ex seems a little disrespectful to me. Like, he has a camera that an ex bought him and I have no issue or uncomfortably with him keeping that – it’s a camera of course he should keep it lol. But a cup? Why keep a cup? You have so many cups, you don’t need another. So why? Why does he want to keep his ex’s cup? I understand this is mainly me being insecure but, am I right to feel a little uncomfortable with the situation?
Why am I so uncomfortable about this situation? Do you think I am thinking too much into him wanting to keep the cup? Or, is my uncomfort justified?
6 comments
I’ve never known cups to play such an integral part in a relationship. Who even has an opinion about stickers on cups? Is it that bad if he kept the cup because it brings him happiness? I have good memories of experiences I had with exes, that doesn’t mean I want to get back with them, it’s just a good memory. This is not worth worrying about.
I have kept things from my exes and they mean nothing to me. I just think yaaay free stuff lmaooo
Honestly the weirdest part of this is how weirdly negatively passionate about cups with stickers he is. Why does he have such a strongly held opinion about something like this?
Honestly why not just ask him why he keeps it, especially considering his strongly held views? Come at it from a curiosity standpoint, rather than an accusatory one.
Not all exes are bad and need to be excommunicated, and not all signs of them need to be erased. They were together and he likely had fond memories of her, but that’s not a bad thing. The alternative is him talking shit about his ex which isn’t exactly a great sign or mature reaction.
I keep everything my exs gave me
I get the feeling he’s trying to get a reaction out of you – why on earth would he bring it up to get your opinion on what to do when the obvious choice is to give it back since he sees her regularly