Or am I overthinking it?
To me it seems that even if there’s strong mutual sexual attraction, it’s just too blunt to invite a lady back to my place without some sort of justification for plausible deniability – let’s watch an episode of the show we’ve been talking about, let me show you my pet rabbit Frank, let’s pour another drink at my place, let’s continue our ebate about the legitimacy of Palestines statehood at my place and so on
How necessary is it really?
How could I ask a lady back without concocting some silly excuse but without being too blunt either to the point that they might feel judged (I know there are still some shit double standards where a lot of women feel stigmatised for having casual sex)
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Because if you don’t have a specific reason to ask, then it’s basically like “come over to have sex” and that’s too much pressure especially like if she came over and decided she didn’t want to but because that’s clearly the only reason then it’s awkward at the very least
Because women need plausible deniability, even if you both know what’s going down.
Just say du wanna come back to watch XYZ. Women like the mystery of not knowing bro, they also need plausible deniability sometimes
There are options beyond asking to come over to have sex and making up some basic excuse.
1. Just ask her if she would like to come over. If she asks what you want to do there, ask what she wants to do.
2. Ask if she wants to come back to have a drink and maybe makeout. It’s not an excuse, it’s the desired next step. Let her make the decision to make out or go further in the moment.
3. Ask her how to do it. “If you were a dude and you were really into someone, and wanted them to come over to your place to hook up, what would you say?” or something like that.
4. Make up something so absurd and funny she knows it’s a pretext. “I want some feedback on my hula hoop form” or something. It helps if you have a hula hoop (or whatever prop you mention) at the house.
I think you don’t need an excuse. It’s pretty sexy when man asks confidently, if you want to go to their place- both knowing what’s gonna happen: if she would ask why (which would be bit weird,but), then you could say something there. But I personally don’t think you need to explain.
does it feel that way? i dont think it does to most men. learn to communicate like an adult
It just sounds implicit like hey lets go back to my place and check out the view or watch something. Both parties know whats up and gives both parties boundaries as well where if one person wasnt ok with sex but still wanted to make out that option is still there
Women slut shame themselves to the point where you have to give them plausible deniability, “watching a movie”
Just say, “hey, want to come back to my place?” Or “want to go back to my place and make out?” If the person is into you, no one will be weirded out by that.
What does the year we’re living in have to do with anything? Next time you’re wrapping up a date try “hey wanna come back to my place to fuck” and report back how it works
I don’t think there needs to be an excuse and truthfully any excuse you give, most of us are already aware the invitation implies the possibility/interest of sex.
There have been times I’ve said yes to an invite because I was interested in the night leading to the bedroom. There have been times I said yes, but made it clear up front I wasn’t coming over for sex. Sadly you have to put that out there because some men will withdraw an invite once they find that out.
When it doubt just ask how comfortable she is with hanging out in private. Either she’s going to be ok with it or she won’t.