So I (33M) met this girl(30F) on Tinder. We went on three dates. First date was a coffee shop then ice cream shop, but we took a long walk after that and talked. Between the first and second date she went on a work trip, so the second was two weeks after the first. We visited several bars in the city and made out. Stayed together until 4 am. We didn’t text much, mostly to arrange the dates. She told me on the first date she’s has a issue with texting and often doesn’t reply back to people immediately, not even the same day. (Yes I know if a girl likes you she will text you). So I also didn’t want to annoy her by daily texting, although the urge was high, because I liked her a lot.
After the second date I was really into her, and cancelled two other second dates I had with two other women from tinder and wanted just to focus on her.
For the third date I invited her to dinner, it was a casual Spanish restaurant, nothing fancy but also not a fast food. After I invited her she responded the same day saying she agrees and I made the reservation. She repeatedly said that the place was nice, and the food great. I made her laugh few times and I thought it was going great. When we went out we walked a bit and kissed. I offered her to drive her home, as it was raining outside. When we arrived we made out in the car, in front of her building. The next day she went for another trip and I would see her in about 10 days, she agreed. She didn’t sent me any messages while on the trip, or answered any of mine. When she got back just wrote that she doesn’t feel any spark, enjoyed our dates, and cant see me as nothing more than a possible friend.
I also had dates where I would tell someone I don’t feel a spark, but then a few weeks later I would think about if it was a mistake.
The issue is I really liked her. I never did this before but I plan to ask her out again after a month or so. Is that a good idea, what would be a good approach? I don’t want to ask her to be just friends, as I don’t want to be stuck in the friend zone.
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4 comments
She’s decided it’s not for her and is going to keep it moving and find a better match for her …reaching out to ask someone out again after they rejected you is not a good move. If she changes her mind (unlikely) she can reach out and see how you are. You saying you like her is cool but largely irrelevant, she doesn’t have those feelings and has decided to move on…once someone shuts it down then you respect that
You’ve been rejected, accept it. If she’s thought and decided she wants to see other people/no longer wants to see you, then that decision is hers and that decision has been made. You feelings certain way doesn’t entitle you to not accept the rejection. She’s moved on, was just a few dates and she’s seen enough to not want to pursue things with you
I mean you can ask her again just don’t get your hopes up the answer will most likely. This has happened to me as where I just suddenly realised I wasn’t feeling it that much. It sucks but yeah I wouldn’t hold out for stuff happening with her, sometimes people just don’t feel the same
Tbh nothing wrong with the advice you’ve got and I don’t see any where a commenter has been rude. Look, respectfully, she’s said she’s felt no chemistry and is moving on in another direction. I’d accept that and accept you can’t win them all. Would I go back for someone who rejected me without seeing any new signs they’ve changed their mind? No. Sometimes you have to take the no for what it is. Obviously you can ask again, but you have to be honest with yourself that if she’s told you she’s felt no connection and can’t see anything happening, then the answer probably doesn’t change when you ask again
Nobody has been rude and that’s all we’re saying
All the best