Listen I’m sure there’s bigger fish to fry and you’ll be busy with other things. She went through hell to give birth and take care of the baby. You don’t want to give her more pressure or make her feel bad. Still there’s apart of you as a man that wants your wife to get back in shape and not be fat.
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Yes.
FWIW: My wife’s weight has fluctuated up and down over the years by about 80 pounds (she’s a stress eater). If she didn’t comment on it, I wouldn’t even notice. She’s always been beautiful to me.
Yeah dude, that’s like the definition of superficial.
yeah, it’s definitely superficial, but that doesn’t mean you’re a bad guy for feeling the way you do, as long as you never mention it to your wife.
how long has it been since she’s delivered?
You know she just made a baby, right? A whole new human being? With her body?
You posted asking about working out after birth in a pregnancy sub?
How long ago was the baby born? It normally takes about a year to bounce back, for the women who choose too. Others are overwhelmed, tired, and stressed about the daily needs of an infant, and don’t particularly care if they gained weight or if you’re attracted to them.
You are 50% to blame for the condition, so be a man and realize bodies change.
Yes.
No other comment needed.
Yes, it’s really superficial, like fucked up levels of superficial. Like, “go get some help” levels of superficial
Yeah. You’re half to blame for the pregnancy and also keeping weight on after is just part of what happens and you must have known this was likely. So yeah you can’t control your own attraction but it’s also a dick move to say “hey you know how we agreed to have a baby? Well I didn’t know you’d get fat and now I regret we ever had a child”
I think it more comes down to self love. My wife misses fitting into her clothes and feeling “like herself”. She also has her share of post partum depression and anxiety. I’ve encouraged her and offered to make it easier for her to exercise. It’s fantastic for mental health. It just so happens to also help her get into shape which will help her fit into the clothes she misses which will make her feel good about herself which, last of all, I can be more physically attracted to her. Everybody wins.
That being said we’ve been having the best sex we’ve ever had recently without her being back to her previous shape.
It is superficial. But it is natural and I empathize with you. You must work it out yourself, don’t be shitty pressuring her.
If you want to help her, be a role model make sure you have an excellent physique, learn to cook proper healthy meals in the house and give her time away from the baby to allow her time to have self care.
If you aren’t willing to do that then what do you expect?
No, it’s not. Sex is an important part of romance. Physical attraction is an important part of sex. Being fit and healthy is better than not, both for her own life and for sex. You don’t have direct control over what you find physically attractive, so for some it’s not like they can just resume a healthy sex life. Part of healthy romance is committing to staying physically attractive to each other, as possible. Also, being fit/healthy is helpful for being a better role model for your children.
Obviously, you should have realistic expectations depending on how much time and energy she has to put into losing weight as she did just have a child and the child comes first. And obviously you should help her as reasonable, like you could put in extra effort to make sure she has time and energy for doing some exercise (though diet is key), but you can’t do anything if she eats cartons of ice cream.
No.
This is the topic most likely to get you downvoted on Reddit – not being happy with your partner’s weight gain after giving birth.
You really want this? Willing to put in the effort? Start cooking for her. Learn to cook delicious lean meals. Do the shopping for her. Take care of the baby so she can take walks, go to exercise classes, etc. You go on a diet too. Tell her you need to lose weight. She knows what she looks like. You don’t have to say anything. Help her sleep through the night. Help her take naps when she wants. Realize this is going to take time. Don’t get impatient because it will be written all over your face and she’ll know and feel like a cow. Water is important. If there’s a bottled water she likes or a tea she likes, make it for her. She’s your queen and mother of your child.
I mean as long as your doing your part? You can’t be getting that “dad bod” while complaining about hers 😂
10 days ago you were single?
Personally I don’t have this issue but maybe it’s because I find my wife beautiful almost no matter what xD I know how it sounds but I really feel that way.
I do appreciate when she’s thinner, but I don’t appreciate how she is mentally when she puts herself through a sky hard diet to try to look like a top model.
Personally I prefer a middle ground, because a top model with a terrible attitude isn’t good xD
I’d say, if it’s that important, first check your expectations. Are they really realistic? What is your wife eating, what opportunities does she have to exercise and does she exercise? I’m saying this because if she’s already eating healthy and exercises, you don’t want to be push her over the edge.
If she isn’t, try to encourage her but do it smart. Don’t criticize her, try to motivate her by telling her how irresistible she was to you when she could fit in xyz dress. Whatever you do, don’t try to “motivate” her, don’t make her feel bad about her current appearance. Just make her want to reach an objective that aligns with yours like fitting x dress.
You’re getting a ton of virtue signaling here that you should ignore. But the answer is you are not being superficial. At worst you’re being a bit inconsiderate. But it’s not wrong or superficial for us to want our spouses, girlfriends, etc. to be fit and attractive. It’s normal. As men, we should stay fit and attractive for them as well. This is part of a healthy lifestyle and a healthy relationship. But give her time to recover, and help her.