For those who let the love of their life go, why did you?

13 comments

1. Because I love them, and they didn’t want this ‘me’ beside them. I let them go seek that which makes them most content.

2. I loved her, she didn’t love me anymore.

   Most heart wrenching decision I’ve ever made in my life.

3. I figured that it wouldn’t work. We lived too far apart after she moved, and i was in no position to be able to visit her.

   She is engaged now, set to marry next month. I don’t even know how to feel about it currently. In hindsight, maybe she was not the love of my life?

4. I had 2 serious relationships, 3 and 4 years long, both during our young years. Both of them did maximum for me, i was just young dude, controled more by my 🍆 rather than 🧠. And so in time i broke up with both of them. It wasn’t there anymore… That’s just life…
   Yet, it helped me to grow up, i now know what i’m looking for and if it’s going to take 5 months or 5 years to get it, i don’t care. I know from personal experience it’s better to be alone and free, rather than choking locked in cage with someone you don’t love.

5. The love of my life isn’t the love of my life because I let her go. I wouldn’t let her go if she was the love of my life. I would change the view to a person who was a part of my life. Not the love of my life. You can’t predict the future.

6. I met her at university I was young, stupid and didn’t see that she was honestly wifey material i wanted to party and chase after other girls.

   5 years later i’m coming out of the office to go home i see her walking in front of me pregnant with her husband ngl kinda died a little on the inside 🥲

7. Because I wanted her to be happy (and she is), she’s got a life, a husband she adores and a job she studied hard to get and I couldn’t be prouder of her.

8. Because it wasn’t the right situation for me. I loved her dearly, but it would have led to my untimely demise. I had to let her go so I could focus on **my** life and get **my** affairs in order.

9. She needed to figure out what the hell she’s doing with the rest of her life that’s still overwhelming her on the regular.

   Whether or not we’re ever “together” again, I do what I can to love and support her from the necessary distance for us both and otherwise am living my life.

10. Never shot my shot but it could’ve all been lust & not love. Who knows.

11. She didn’t mention in her online dating bio that she wanted kids (I don’t want any). It wasn’t until we were already in a relationship when she told me. She started a conversation about names she wanted to give any children she has, and asked me. I assumed that she read the part in my bio where I explicitly said I don’t want kids, but obviously she didn’t. I should’ve asked her stance on kids no later than the 1st date.

    It wasn’t an easy decision for me to break things off, since she was my type physically and she was an easy-going person overall.

12. I didn’t want to let her go but it happened.. I’m black, she was Taiwanese. It was a young love possibly even rebound for her but I’ll never know. A lot of things transpired during our relationship and me moving to San Francisco to be with her 15 years ago. I was literally fighting the world and she was too. Everywhere we went, we got it from both sides. I tried to accommodate her family and friends but yeah that was a dummy mission. Noticed a shift in her and I was pretty much over it at one point too and I didn’t pull the plug. One day and I’ll never forget it. We went to the beach and it was an amazing day. We laughed, talked, just everything it was/I wanted it to be and welp I fell deeply for her all over again. Things were different after that but her father got sick/had an emergency. She came home and things were different again. Pretty much ended after that and a lot of ish came out after I moved back to Texas. To say the least, I’ve been an emotional train wreck ever since. Even with therapy, I haven’t let a woman get to know me and immediately shut any talks of long term relationships down. Just can’t get her out my mind and what if. So while she was the love of my life or at least that’s what I feel. I just don’t know about her. Last time I looked her up was when I was in SF in 2012 while traveling with a “girlfriend”. Yeah I know that was wrong but she haunts me. Ever since then I’ve just been on my own. I “date” ever now and again but just don’t have the heart to be with somebody and having to fight the world no matter her color. I’ve slowly embraced being alone and actually like it. Hopefully one day I’ll heal or allow myself to heal.

13. I started to drink really heavily during COVID and major dental surgery and became verbally abusive when I was blackout drunk. I am ashamed at that and am in therapy.

    Her brother drank himself to death during that time, and I was less than sympathetic. I met him once. He was having the shakes despite pounding down margaritas at my favorite Mexican restaurant. Her other brother had hung himself in jail years ago because they grew up with a stereotypically terrible stepfather and later orphans as teens with a move to a new town. After her second brother basically killed himself, she rediscovered and befriended his loser high school friends.

    I joked from the beginning that I was her rebound relationship. She’s a self-described trad wife who didn’t file for divorce until we started dating.

    In the end, I wasn’t there for her. I have my own issues and am working on them.

    We spent months in limbo, and I finally called an end to it. She couldn’t forgive me for my abusive behavior and I don’t blame her for not wanting to be there for my recovery. Hell, she let her brother kill himself.

    She’s banging one of her contractors now – the contractors I was always told not to worry about.

    So it goes.