I am a male and my girlfriend really likes it when I’m vocal during sex. Thing is, I have no idea what to do. I’ll get out of breath and breathe heavier, but beyond that, saying anything feels really awkward. I know porn has desensitized us to the “oh fuck, right there” mentality, but it feels so robotic and obviously rehearsed. I’ll say how wet she is and will vocalize positions I want to move into. But during the act, I get quiet and focused.
So gentlemen; what noises, words, phrases do you say during sex that have worked for you or set your partner off?
2 comments
Well it’s a confidence thing. You really have to understand or lie to yourself that you’re the fucking man. It can be hard but giving her instructions is the best way to get started. Like “come here” “raise your butt up” “sit on my face” “move your tongue”. That’s how you get stared don’t use pretend words and phrases from a book. Whatever you wanna say! Just say it I know you have intrusive thoughts about words you can say. Just say it! Getting tipsy can definitely help too as that liquid confidence will carry you. For me I just so comfortable with my partner that I would say some outrageous shit and they would say yes pls.
Ask her what she wanting to feel from these vocalizations.
Is she wanting to feel wanted and sexually arousing? Is she wanting “dirty” talk?
Is she wanting feedback to help her give you pleasure?
Ask her what she imagines she’s missing.
If it’s “dirty” talk, practice the words that feel awkward. Say them over and over again in the mirror. You will become desensitized to it and become less uncomfortable.
If words are important to her, ask for a list of what’s not okay or turns her off. Example: pussy vs cunt is one of those that can kill the mood if you use a term that she doesn’t like.
If she’s wanting words to increase her arousal and pleasure, you can try talking to her in great detail about your favorite time together while you finger or work her clit.
I suspect this is going to require lots of communication.
From a submissive point of view, knowing exactly what you want frees her to get out of her and not guess. Ask her if she’s feeling like she’s uncertain and if that is taking away from her pleasure.
No matter what, you’re going to need more information from her.