My bf and I started living together recently, we’ve been together for a year and a half. Lately he has been feeling down, a bit depressed, he also got sick (flu) and now that he is starting work again after sick leave, he has anxiety about going back to work, his employee judging him for being away a couple of days.
He works out very regularly, goes to therapy (so as I), doesn’t do drugs or smoke, and drinks occasionally.
He has levelled up a lot since meeting me (emotionally, career-wise, lifestyle) and he confided once that he is afraid of losing me if he doesn’t meet my “standard”. What he means by standard is that I have accomplished a lot in my life (and have always been supported by my family since my childhood), and him on the other hand had to survive a dysfunctional family and teach himself a lot of things a healthy family would transmit.
When he feels depressed, I feel so bad. I am not his therapist, I don’t want to mother him even if instinctively I have this feeling of pouring out all my energy and time in making him feel better (I am a recovering people-pleaser), I make a real effort in still focusing on my life along. This might sound ridiculous but I am learning to balance it out.
How can I be there for him when he is low, doubting himself, while still “doing me”?
Tl;dr how can I support my bf whom I live with when he is feeling down, without mothering him or forgetting myself?