My ex(27M) and i(24F) broke up about a month ago after he cheated on me. It’s been a really hard breakup, we’re still in contact and see each other somewhat frequently – nothing romantic at all, just hanging out as we’re both struggling in our own ways and none of us want to let the other go. We also have a cat together.
I talked to my ex yesterday and he told me he’d talked to some friends and realised he never processed the breakup with his long term gf(4+ years) which ended three years ago. I listened to him and i understood what he was saying but it did also make me feel a bit weird that he was telling me this as we have just broken up. I told him what i felt and he didnt take it that well. He got quiet and seemed sad/upset, saying he just needed support.
I imediatly regretted saying anything as i still want him to be able to tell me whats on his mind and i didnt mean to play it off as if it was nothing, but again, i was just a bit hurt as im having a really hard time processing our breakup. I feel really bad about it today as he was genuinly upset but it just wasnt a great feeling.
He never liked when i talked about my ex so i’ve always avoided that topic. I imagine he would have felt weird if i had told him what he told me. It just feels like im being held to a different standard than he is. Especially as he got upset when i told him how i felt. He said he just wanted support and for me to listen
I cant tell if i really was being unreasonable and i wish i could have changed what i told him
tl;dr my ex told me he feels sad about the breakup with his previous girlfriend after we broke up a month ago. Im trying to be supportive but it made me upset hearing this as im only thinking about our relationship right now
2 comments
My first question is: why do you care what your ex thinks? especially an ex that cheated on you?
I don’t spend time with cheaters. especially ones that cheated on me. Not the kind of person i want anything to do with.
Let go. There’s nothing for you in this, listening to him going on about the ex before you. You don’t need to hear this, you don’t want to hear this, you shouldn’t have to hear this. He wants support about a relationship he never moved on from? You’re not the one to provide it. Your relationship with him was the one which mattered to you, and that’s done. Hanging out is doing you no favors. It only makes it harder for you to move on.