Recently started a big debate in a Downton Abbey group I’m in. No consensus was reached.
The upper class in the show ate with forks upside down (to me, an American). As in rounded side up.
Most Americans eat with the rounded side down.
Is this just the way nobility ate/eat? Or do most people use their fork in this way?
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The Danish “mother” of etiquette, Emma Gad, wrote in her 1918 book on etiquette, _Takt og Tone_, that one shouldn’t “hold the fork as a garden fork,” i.e., one shouldn’t use it to scoop, stab or slice.
Most Danes are raised to eat with the fork turned inwards, irregardless of class. The way you describe Americans using forks, rounded side up, would be seen as using the fork as a scoop.
There are however exceptions, and Emma Gad also stressed, her rules weren’t universal, set in stone, and shouldn’t be followed mechanically, as that would make them the worst manners.
But to answer your question: Yes, most Danes eat with the fork turned the opposite way of Americans.
In the Netherlands you hold the rounded side up normally.
There might be occurrences however where this is not preferred. But that’s mostly when it’s difficult or less appetizing to do so. This is up to the discretion of the person in question. You will notice differences between international rules however.
For instance in the Netherlands, the “correct” way to eat Spaghetti is to put it around your fork, and then twist it into a spoon, and then bring the spoon to your mouth while letting the fork rest. In Italy they do not use spoons for Spaghetti and twist the fork against the plate, and then eat like that.
The rules of Etiquette change between countries quite a bit, and as such should be ignored in most international situations unless one is dining with someone “above” their station. IE: If you’re eating with a King, Queen, PM, or President at some official state dinner. In all other situations, just keep your mouth shut while chewing, be somewhat respectful, and it should be okay.
Depends on the food you’re eating.
Generally, you use a fork to pierce food, not shovel it. Otherwise you’d be better off using a spoon. And of course for such foods, the fork tines should point down. If it’s bigger (large vegetables or piece of meat, etc.), you stick your fork into the piece you want to eat to hold it in place, and then cut the piece off with your knife.
For some foods, that doesn’t work. If it’s mushy (e.g. mashed potatoes) or small pieces (peas or smaller), you put the fork on your plate with the rounded side down, and push the food onto it with your knife. The less fancy you are (or the situation is), the more foods fall into this category.
Either way, when eating with fork and knife, the fork stays in the left hand for the whole time. You only put it in the right hand if the course is meant to be eaten without a knife.
That’s the general “correct” way except for some foods like rice. Doesn’t mean that people won’t slack a bit. I was always expected to eat right growing up.
Americans eat differently. They move the knife around and we don’t.
I was taught rounded side up or turned away from you, no pointing, leave cutlery at 7 o’ clock angle (also rounded side up) on plate when done to indicate that you’re finished with your food. How you hold the cutlery is also taught (as in, which hand each utensil goes in) but it’s not a hard and fast rule, especially for left-handed people like my sister who holds hers “the American way” because it’s more comfortable for her.
No. It’s the way Europeans eat. Anyone in Europe who isn’t a savage.
Only for mash and peas and other small items you could not pierce, you hold the fork like a scoop. But preferably scoop sideways, with the help of the knife.
Normally, “fork food” it is something you can pick up by “stabbing”, so you hold it “hill up”. It is just easier to stab like that.
It is often considered bad manners by the etiquette books, but if it is something you have to “scoop” or place onto a fork, you hold it “valley up” and usually add food onto the fork from the side, pushing it with the knife.
In the south, it is seen as good manners to use bread to scoop up sauce from the plate. In the north, it is seen as very bad manners to do that. In some countries (like Estonia), it is polite to eat the plate empty (to signal that the food was good), in some countries (like China or Armenia, imo) it is polite to leave some food on the plate (to signal that there was enough).
Btw, one rule I’ve never really understood is that it is super rude to place your elbows on the table, like between courses as well. Is it not just the most comfortable way to sit at the table? Why is this wrong?
I rarely use a fork at all. And when I do, I hold it like a spoon. Most foods contain small loose pieces or a liquid that can’t be picked up with a fork. The opposite orientation (unlike a spoon) seems to fit better in the mouth. But it’s so rare that I need objects pierced, for example, large pieces of meat or eating a salad out of a jar, that it doesn’t matter in practice. I was taught as a child that forks are unsafe, and they kind of are when it comes to washing them or carrying them around.
If you mean placed down on the table then round side down. If you are handling the fork to pick up food then the round side is up. There is no class distinction here, just the basic way of using. You also always hold the fork in the left hand and the knife in the right hand if the knife is necessary for the meal, otherwise you can use the fork in the right hand (e.g. eating pasta).
That said you may hold the fork with the round side down if you use it to scoop up food rather than actually pierce the bite to pick it up (e.g. mashed potatoes)
Rounded side up is better for almost everything. If it’s something you can’t pierce (rice, minced meat) the rounded side should be down to kinda scoop it up.
But I try to eat food with a spoon as much as I can since less dish and easier. Kebab (Swedish version) works superb with a spoon.
Round down, always. I dont think ive ever seen round up.
Fancy place? For round side up. Home or basic restaurant? Other way around. And also depends on the food.
I am fully with the Americans on this one. I mock people as too posh for their own good when they eat with the fork up. I them ask them if they do the same with a spoon.
I also switch the fork to my right hand when I do not need to cut.
I’m right handed
If I’m using a fork and a knife, the fork will be in my left hand and “upside down” (round side up), I was taught that this was the “proper” way and just got used to it
If I’m eating with just a fork, then it’ll be in my right hand and round side down.