How do I randomly go up to someone I’ve never talked with and start a conversation in a class, social gathering, event, gym, the streets, etc.?

2 comments

1. 1. Choose the right moment.
   2. Smile, make eye contact.
   3. Greet with a simple “Hi” or “Hello.”
   4. Ask open-ended questions.
   5. Show genuine interest.
   6. Find common ground.
   7. Give sincere compliments.
   8. Respect boundaries.
   9. Introduce yourself.
   10. Keep it light, avoid sensitive topics.
   11. Be yourself.
   12. Practice active listening.

2. Most people find this hard and I would say it’s like a Level 10 social skill (out of 10).

   You might want to start with something easier, like going to a meetup in your city where it’s encouraged to talk to people – a book club, for example, where it’s normal for everyone to be given a chance to speak and introduce themselves. Sharing your thoughts at a book club might be a level 2 social skill.

   From there, you might try to make small talk with someone in your class, etc. It’s a bit harder, because there’s no set expectation re: what you should discuss (like in a book club, where you know what you should talk about – the book). But it’s more normal for classmates to talk to each other than random people on the street. So let’s say that’s Level 4.

   After you have some success talking with classmates, you can try something harder. Eventually you’ll have gone through levels 4-9. And you’ll have gained some valuable insights about social interactions.

   After you successfully build your skills doing easier “missions,” you’ll probably be able to approach truly random people more easily when you want to. And then you’ll be ready for Level 10! Good luck and hope this helps 🙂