I really, really like this guy. He’s just incredible in every way and I don’t want to ruin my chance with him or to drive him away or make him feel bad. Our time zones are eight hours apart, and when he’s not talking to me, I convince myself that he doesn’t like me any more, that this long distance isn’t enough for him, that he’s bored and uninterested and has better things to do, and not only am I constantly hurting my own feelings by thinking this way, but I’m going through a constant roller coaster of feeling hurt, deciding he doesn’t like me, losing interest in him because I’ve decided he’s not interested in me, and then feeling bad for feeling this way because I know that’s not necessarily the case and he’s probably just asleep or at work.
When he does talk to me, he seems really happy to be in contact and really enthusiastic, but late responses or going offline sends me immediately spiraling. I’m constantly checking the time and making myself feel awful when he doesn’t text me when he normally wakes. I actually wouldn’t mind knowing that he doesn’t like me that way (I am okay just being friends too), and it would ease my mind knowing that he does like me but he’s got something else going on or doesn’t feel like talking at the moment; it’s the confusion that’s driving me crazy. And I don’t know how to bring this up to him without sounding insanely insecure and making him feel pressured to text when he isn’t really feeling up for it. I don’t want to put strain on him and I don’t want this to ruin our relationship.
On the one hand, I think that my insecurity is something that I should handle, like I should figure out how not to need constant reassurance and validation. On the other hand- no that’s the only hand. I’m extremely inexperienced and I don’t know how this is supposed to work and I already feel inadequate because of my lack of experience and worried that my lack of wisdom is going to fuck this up, so I thought I should ask others for insight. What would you do in this situation?
Tl;dr: I’m not getting enough attention from my partner and it’s making me insecure. I don’t know whether I’m supposed to just deal with it because bringing it up would do more harm than good, or, if I should bring it up, how to.
1 comment
>I’m not getting enough attention from my partner and it’s making me insecure
It’s not you’re not getting enough attention, it’s your insecure whenever his attention isn’t on you. Even if you were dating someone down the street they’re not going to reply all the while, they’re going to have their work, friends, lives besides you.