My 25m girlfriend 25f and I are madly in love and have been dating for 4 years. However we have a hard time having sex sometimes and she is often in pain during sex. Every time we have sex I make sure to go very slow and get her very turned on before entering but no matter what it still hurts her and she winces and doesn’t enjoy it.
She always says “ugh you’re so big” or “fuck you’re in my tummy” and she always tells me to cum quickly which sucks because it seems like she just wants to get it over with instead of enjoying it together. She cums every time if I just sit still with my dick in her while rubbing her clit which makes me so happy that she orgasms that way.
We always do tons of foreplay and we have tried lube, we have tried going extremely slow and waiting for her to get as wet as possible and it still hurts her. When I enter her I always go very slow. I feel bad and honestly wish my dick was smaller sometimes so that we could just have that amazing, lively, fun (sometimes rough) sex without worrying about hurting her. She always feels bad for being in pain. I love this girl and really want it to work. We have had the same conversation so many times about how to make it more enjoyable for her or what we can do to reduce her pain. We have been dating for 4 years and it’s been an issue throughout our relationship. I’m a little over 7 inches hard and pretty girthy, so it’s not like I’m packing an absolute monster in my pants lol. She also rarely wants to have sex like once a week would be a lot for her.
Recently I’ve been finding myself fantasizing about previous girls I’ve been with who I’ve had great sex with who absolutely loved to fuck. I just want us to be able to fuck each other passionately and in fun positions and more often without her being in pain and I’m not really sure what else to do. Advice?
8 comments
Has she talked to her gyno? She should really talk to a doctor. Sex should not be painful.
It’s definitely possible for something to be “too big” for penetration, especially extra large toys etc BUT this sounds more like she has a medical problem that causes sex to be painful. Does she experience this kind of pain from penetration with smaller things (fingers, toys)?
Has she discussed this with her gyn? That would be #1.
Has she seen a doctor about possible vaginismus. That sounds possible and there are treatments for it. That’s is the gyn’s job to help with such issues. Has she tried the stretching speculum sets (graduated from large finger size up to pretty big to see if she can gradually stretch herself.
Is the girth the problem (I Assume)? With your length, if her vagina is pretty short you could be banging on her cervix (hurts for most women). Shallower stroking would help that. I’m maybe about your size, and fortunately I’ve never run across this issue in my time on earth.
This has likely devolved into a largely mental issue with her (pain can do that). Does she orgasm plenty from you eating her pussy? Using an external vibe? Does she like having orgasms?
Even though you’re size is well above average, does she make any attempt at oral on you? Even just licking and not going into her mouth?
As mentioned she may be so into her head about this, that she has just shut off her libido. Nothing about sex sounds like anything good, just PAIN. Counseling/therapy may be required to get it going again, or possibly some medication.
I am guessing she won’t possibly consider some back door activities, but that is a good option if the PIV cannot get resolved. Just study up on how to go about it, go very slow, baby steps, lots of lube always, small toys (flanged) to start (suggest metal or glass for easy cleaning), working up to someone approaching your girth. Once that is accepted comfortably, proceed with great care, living, patience, and communication.
That’s all I’ve got for you my friend, best wishes.
Even your size is tiny compared to a baby.
I’m wondering if her cervix sits very low in her vagina canal … like if you finger her , do it feel like it’s not as high up
As other girls . If she’s wet enough I’m not thinking it’s a girth issue . I know when your cervix gets knocked hard , it can hurt . It makes me bleed when it happens . I really don’t have any good advice , because I don’t know how you fix this . I’m sorry
I think you should follow up everyone’s advice regarding that it might be a medical issue. I’m thick too, and though I have to be careful in regards to not entering slowly and all that, we certainly do not have anywhere near the problems you two are having.
In the meantime, have you tried experimenting with that “sitting still inside her” thing? Like, maybe if she clenches her legs a bit and does kegals, maybe that could kind of be a substitute for thrusting? It might be a less painful way for you to get stimulation.
I assume you had to be the one to ask her out, hit on her
Firstly, she should see her gynecologist for examination and advice. My gf and I had a long dry spell because sex with me was painful and we thought that it was only on account of my large size. The gyno helped dispel a bunch of stigma my gf felt about sex, boosted her confidence with guidance and encouragement, suggested the use of toys and graduated vaginal dilators, and discovered for my gf that she had a retroverted uterus. It’s been a lot to overcome, mostly by my gf’s efforts, but we’ve been much more close and intimate than we have been in years.
To start, I suggest researching how to develop her pelvic floor and using graduated vaginal dilators to train herself to accommodate larger girths. If depth is an issue, try a depth limiter on yourself like an Ohnut. Most importantly, try to have fun and not put a lot of pressure on her to perform. Keep her comfort and pleasure at top priority and all should work out great!
My ex and I had the same problem. Tried everything, but she would always stop breathing and had a look on her face like she was being impaled, so I would stop, because I felt bad. I ended up leaving her (not just for that reason).
There’s only so much you can do and we tried it all. Just find someone you’re more compatible with. I thought it was because she was petite, but my current gf is even smaller and takes it just fine. Some women are just different anatomically and bigger guys are a big no for them.