I’ve (27m) been seeing this girl (26) for over a year now. I’ve felt conflicted from the moment we began dating. I tried to clearly communicate my boundaries and that I wanted to move slow ( I’d been in two different relationships over the course of three years and was finally discovering parts of myself that I admired) she didn’t want to move slow because of how guys have probably manipulated her for sex but didn’t want to commit to the relationship. I say screw it and we go ahead and start dating because I figure I might as well try it’s not often people show a tremendous amount of interest in me right away. Things were good at first but we moved in together at one point and it was just awful. This period specifically made me realize I never want to leave with her again or have a family with her. She has health problems and is lazy and at times very rude and mean when I am a fairly sensitive person. I never yell, I never judge or compare, yet when I ask my gf to clean up after herself or to not speak to me a certain way it erupts into a fight and how I’m so selfish and ungrateful. So my question is : are you guys actually happy with your relationship? Because I just kind of feel bound to this person out of habit and insecurity. I want to break up with her but I don’t know and am worried about how she will respond. I’ve told her I feel depressed. I told her I feel unhappy in this relationship. And sometimes it feels like two steps forward one steps back. What should I do? Go back to being single and physically/ financially stable and independent? Or try to make the best out of my current situation?
4 comments
“Making the best of your situation” really isn’t a solution. There needs to be a change. She sounds emotionally immature at best. That’s probably giving her too much credit. Her behavior toward you doesn’t sound sustainable for you.
Offer her a chance to step up and work on her emotional maturity or you walk. You’ll find out pretty quick how seriously she takes the relationship. Being single is better than being miserable.
She will respond negatively to any attempt to break up, but you can leave knowing you laid a path for her, and she chose not to walk it.
Do whatever you have to do to leave as soon as possible. I know you said you are a sensitive person, she is not. Just go.
It sounds like you’re trying to talk yourself into being this better person and staying because of it. Don’t do this. Leave bro
It’s supposed to be easy. Does it feel easy? Wouldn’t you like it to? Doesn’t that answer everything?