I figured out that I’m kind and generous, or stupid and gullible, which invites other people to take advantage of me. People can comfortably rude to me, or be jealous of me, or gossip about me, or complain about me, so on. Rather than standing up to them, I just give up and let them do whatever they want to. I reduced human contact so I don’t get hurt by people.
Now I don’t have anyone around me. I only care about money and work, which I can have full controls over and which won’t betray/disappoint me. Am I becoming a Scrooge?