My boyfriend and I (both 19) have been together since we were freshmen in high school. He’s enlisted in the United States Marine Corps and is leaving for boot camp in about a month. I’ve supported him in his decision and this process, it’s the best choice he has because of financial reasons. This is also something he wants to do and will be very good at!
We’ve both had intentions of staying and having a future together, despite the inevitable long distance. Though recently, he’s been expressing doubts of us being able to do the distance. Although we were only 15, Covid lockdowns were hard on our relationship. He doesn’t believe in our ability to stay together while we will be so far apart for so long.
Boot camp is roughly 3 months long with basically no communication besides occasional letters. Then an additional 1 month of combat training where he will have access to his phone. After all of that, he goes to schooling for his MOS that’s 1,000+ miles away for 2 years. I’m currently a freshman in college and plan to be in school for at least 2 years. Financially, I cannot go with him unless we were to get married, which we don’t think we should do until he’s at least done with his 2 years of MOS schooling.
All of that is to say, we’re going to have to be long distance for about 2 & 1/2 years. I’ve expressed that I would be willing to make trips to go see him every now and then, whatever money allows. We love each other very much and don’t want to break up, but we both really appreciate relationships where we can be with each other physically (I know how that sounds, I have no idea what better way to word that..). All we’ve ever known is each other. I’m not opposed to the idea of living life as a military wife (I have relatives in the military with families so I know some of what it all entails), but right now is just too soon for the both of us. We both feel we’re the right person, just wrong time.
Do we stay together and try to tough it out, see how far we make it? Do we break up now and reconnect to see how we feel after 2 & 1/2 years? Please help us!!! Any advice is appreciated!!!
10 comments
After all that proofreading, forgot to mention I’m female… not sure if that matters, just see everyone else doing it!
Break up now, that way you don’t have to develop a bunch of anger and resentment towards each other before an inevitable breakup. You can keep your memories of each other positive.
Yall should break up. That’s my personal opinion based on experience with military guys. You put young men overseas with a paycheck and that’s gonna turn into sleeping with women all over the world pretty quickly.
I joined the Air Force at 19, and I’m now 26. I think breaking up now would be the right choice. I tried to do what you are considering and it didn’t work.
He is going to be surrounded by a LARGE group of young, single, sexist assholes for the next 4 years. Few females around, tons of disposable income, and no bills. He is already expressing doubts. See the issue?
You two probably won’t recover from a break-up.
Break up before he goes. Don’t be that girl to send a Dear John letter. Cut loose, be free
Just end it now. Young men in the military should not have relationships until they are out of service. For the sake of both of you, do not try to “make this work”
Hey, 19 currently in the ADF, It’s pretty hard maintaining relationships but possible,at most as the only times you get to come home is Christmas for an extended period.
However you do get leave which you can take out to go home or wherever, I am unsure what the USMC’s regulations are like, don’t listen too these reddit adults in their mid 20’s like you’re on a sub dating advice community, hop on Facebook.
I also understand you are studying, the biggest questions are, where can he be based/stationed, is it close, most guys try get their postings to their home town after Basic training (Bootcamp) and finishing their MOS.
Is he willing to spend money to buy plane tickets depending on distance?
You guys seem committed as you mentioned you started at 15 / or freshmen , which is great, I don’t see any reason to break up, sure it would be hard long distance relationships, that’s depending if you are loyal enough to go through with being a military wife in the future.
Both of you will be busy, you doing studying and him being trained, if all falls then yeah break up but try hold that bond and get back together in the future 🤷
This was quickly summed up so don’t take any disrespect.
You two have a very unique bond.
I don’t think this is worth breaking up over.
Joining him as his eventual wife, in his military life will be really hard. But if you love each other, it’ll be worth it.
Everyone telling you to break up, has never been in love. It is 100% worth fighting for. But ultimately, your heart knows and it will tell you what you need to know either way.
All the best 💕.