For my whole life I’ve been shy, say extremly uncomfortable while with people other than the closest part of my family (not even including wider family). My teachers started to recognize it as early as in my preschool. From when I was 10 onwards, it started to be less difficult to me to go to the grocery store, or to order pizza. When I turned 15 or so I started to manage to completely overbeat shyness but only in kinda simple/short communication situatons: I can go on a trip by myself, I can book a flight / stay in a hotel by myself, I can run all errands by myself (negotiate with bank officials or doctors etc).
But when I have to go to work and talk more deeply with co-workers it gets extremly hard and just won’t go away. No matter how many days, weeks or even years have passed since the beggining of my work at the certain workplace. I discovered it is the only thing why I find it so hard to go to work – not the work itself (it is kinda demanding and responsible work but I manage to do it perfectly), but making human interractions at work. Nobody is teasing me, bullying me or anything like that (though I experienced a great deal of that through entire grade and high school.) I just can’t talk to them like normally. I wouldn’t say I’m an introvert because I actually have a great desire to talk to others – just can’t to it in practice because of some kind of internal barrier which I can’t explain clearly. I often dream about how awesome my life would be without that barrier.
It is kinda dissapointing because when I was a kid, I thought that the shyness would completely go when I will enter adulthood, but sadly, it didn’t. The only difference now is that I am able to force myself to make at least basic passive talk with unfamiliar people. No need to mention that it get instantly noted by others and the well-known question follows: why are you so quiet?
Fun fact, on certain rare occasions when I meet some \*really\* interesting person (from my perspective), no matter opposite sex or not, I am mainly able to open up and talk deeply and widely, almost on the same level as if I’d talk with myself. It happened couple times in my life and it was awesome.
4 comments
I can totally relate to this! Human interaction at work can be a real challenge sometimes, but it’s great that you’ve been able to overcome some of your shyness in other situations
Keep pushing yourself, you never know when you’ll meet another truly interesting person who makes it all worth it.
I activatly take job where there no customer interaction
i’ve never seen anything sum up how i feel better than this!! i’ve struggled all my life with shyness and general social anxiety, it got to the point where i thought there was something deeply wrong with my personality or just myself in general, but then when i’m on my own or with people close to me i can be absolutely fine and literally not shut up.. recently however, since my mental health has taken a toll, the internal barrier has started to affect some close relationships leaving me in very awkward situations with people i’ve been really close with for the past 10 ish years. i’m in therapy, do daily affirmations and meditation and seemingly nothing is working. i used to be able to throw myself out of my comfort zone and be able to do things so well on my own, now the thought of going to the shop sometimes is overwhelming. when i’m at my worst, it literally seems like everyone around me can sense something is off and i get some funny looks from people. i hate the way i can be, but i do respect and love myself at the same time. i don’t really know how to improve myself and work on these issues with my internal barrier. it sometimes feels like my brain switches off, and as much as i want to engage in a social situation i feel like i have absolutely nothing to say, only to come up with something to say way after the conversation has ended or shifted topic.. if anyone has any advice on how to overcome this or what steps to take to help they would be very very appreciated
Yes!! I literally had to quit my job because of this! I hated interacting with costumers and would get so nervous and anxious and just freak myself out because of this.