I (23F) have been lifting consistently for a little over 3 years. For context I’m no model but I’d consider myself conventionally attractive, shorter and have a lean athletic build. Usually I’m not approached by men at the gym which I believe is because 1) I have a serious RBF which is probably intimidating and 2) I tend to keep to myself and avoid eye contact.
At my new gym there’s one guy who always catches my eye, he’s pretty good looking and has a nice style. He also seems pretty dedicated, he’s almost always there when I’m there and he’s one of those that keeps a notebook for tracking his workouts.
He asked me about why I lift without shoes and he subsequently thanked me a few weeks later after it seemed to help him. We introduced ourselves and now acknowledge each other when we see each other. I’m definitely interested in pursuing further but I’m not sure if I’m reading too much into giving technique advice. Even with my experience guys in the gym don’t typically ask me advice let alone for my name. What do men usually do to get a woman’s attention?
9 comments
>What do men usually do to get a woman’s attention?
He already did it. A dude ain’t gonna ask you out at the gym unless he’s super thirsty. You ask him out.
They will smile at you, wave, say hello. Look for excuses to start a conversation with you. Or just straight up ask for your number.
You should do these things as well.
Typical gym etiquette for men is leave women alone outside maybe a friendly hello because she’s there to work out and have the gym be a safe space, not get hit on by dudes. In a perfect world, a dude could just approach a lady, make friendly chit chat, ask her out, and if she says no the dude accepts the no and everyone goes about their business with no inconvenience caused…but this isn’t a perfect world.
Accordingly, it is really on the lady to approach the guy here. Arguably, the gym etiquette applies to men and women, but given the different dynamics, it often is not a big faux pas given the dynamics for a woman to ask out a guy at the gym.
You are going at this the wrong way. If you like him, you approach him. Waiting for the other to make a move might lead to something, but doing it yourself has a way higher succes rate. He might never make a move after all, or has already made one that you didn’t catch.
It is extremely rare that we do. As a gym rat I definitely wouldn’t unless the mother of all green lights were to be given. Risks far outweigh the reward.
I highly advise against asking anyone out at the gym. I’ll never ask women out at the gym unless they are exceptionally attractive and have a good personality. The reasoning is because many women make it extremely awkward if things don’t work out. Unfortunately most people aren’t mature enough to graciously end things. I had a thing with a woman from the gym, and it ended but she purposely made it extremely weird. I go to the gym to primarily workout and dating can completely ruin that
You just build a relationship by talking to him.
Hey could you spot me for a minute whatever.
I get it all the time when Im out in clubs. A girl will say “would you mind holding my jacket while I ge tmy phone” something like that.
As a girl you can just go to him and ask him if you want to workout togheter or something like that. I would hold on gym tips until you guys are friendly but otherwise just go see him. Guys won’t feel predated on so your good.
Op – Disregard all advice that says not to approach people at the gym.
Just be yourself and have zero expectation of outcome. I have approached many girls with Extreme RBF + over ear headphones and end up having stimulating conversations to where RBF goes away and they are smiling and laughing and radiating beautiful energies. We are humans, we are meant to interact with each other. Do you think you are going to have more in common and get along better with a gym guy, or some random baggy pant broccoli hair slob at the mall eating a pretzel with melted cheese and mustard stains all over his Drake t-shirt?
Like attracts like, gym people like gym people. Based on your post here and lifestyle, you are 95% likely to end up with a gym guy vs. some idiot who gets blackout drunk every weekend and eats shit food and vapes. Your demographics are gym/fitness, hence, you will meet someone you click with AT THE GYM.
I also do not agree that as the woman you need “make a move” – that is the masculine role, but you can “help” the guy by dropping hints.
This dude could be shy or he could be on his grind and has sworn off females. You can figure this out and/or help things along by offering up what you are doing on the weekend – make it abundantly clear to him that you are not doing anything with a guy. He very likely assumes you have a BF. Talk about your fam and mention them by names, offer up personal information, make and hold eye contact. Make it clear that you are open to him and if he starts to reciprocate, then you are onto something.
I read somewhere that attraction is not a choice and I agree with this. There are certain women that I see and I am immediately drawn to them. Not what would be considered the stereotypical “model” type, but certain facial features or style elements that get me every time and I have no choice, haha.
Good luck, hope it works out and he ends up being a good dude, we are rare.