I kinda feel like this is happening to me but why pretend for so long to care just for sex when there’s plenty of woman wanting to hook up it’s just cruel and unnecessary my guy keeps saying he cares for me even loves me but disappears then reappears when it’s convenient for him it just hurts so much
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I am not a guy with this mindset whatsoever, but it’s quite simple:
– Monke brain see booba/ass, neuron activates.
It’s very crude but that basically is the mindset these guys have. The only advice I can suggest is after a couple dates, mention to him that you want to wait until you feel comfortable before being intimate. If his response is anything other than positive and respectful, he wants you for one thing.
What makes you think this is just a ploy to get sex?
A lot of guys don’t believe or know that there are women out there willing to hook up. Like there’s women who believe that NO man ever wants a relationship so they have to play games to get one from them or “lock them down”. Same way with those guys who just want sex.
90% of women will only have sex when they think it leads to a relationship…and men do the math
If someone’s being cruel to you, stop seeing them.
Stop having sex with him.
As someone who takes time getting comfortable even talking with anyone and especially women, I’d rather have sex in a relationship than hook up with random women.
Edit : What I mean to say is I do want both love and sex together and hate this pretending op mentions
>my guy keeps saying he cares for me even loves me but disappears then reappears when it’s convenient for him
Why do you keep taking him back? If he says one thing and does another why do you keep thinking the words mean anything.
Have some self-respect and delete him.
It keeps him on your mind hence why you’re posting about it
idk, why do women need so much emotional support and reinforcement?
There’s an asymmetry of needs which makes many relationships into a trade. But neither side really wants to give what the other wants which is why there’s lots of unfulfilled people out there.
I would pretend to love a woman if it would get me a spot in line at the grocery store.
He doesn’t love you at all.
If you love someone, you are scared to lose them.
He comes back because you allow it.
You can make the mistake to take him back once but second and third time, it is in you.
What’s not talked about in these conversations is the quality disparity. I’m speaking mostly in sex appeal, but the typical guy will be able to have sex with a more attractive woman if he goes with the relationship market. I’ve had candid conversations with women I’ve dated on the topic and they all get much more superficial when they look for sexual partners.
For the record I’m not saying that it’s moral or just, it’s just the reality of the dating realm. If both genders were more upfront with their intentions it would help but it’s not realistic because not enough people assume the other party is going to tell the truth. Just so happens it punishes the innocent actors the most, but that’s just how life works. There’s also enough people that value people that play fair, it just gets roped into the people that prey on those that do.
People seldom suffer any consequences for how they treat others.
Even if they treat them poorly.
Some people are incredibly self centered. The suffering of others doesnt even appear on their radar.
Society and its social consequences has never given them a reason to hesitate
Well this thread is depressing
The end part of your question is the answer! Find someone else who treats you right.
>there’s plenty of women wanting to hook up
Most men don’t have access to those women, so they have to play a different game.
Amen
Dump him. Seriously this is a cruel game manipulative people play to keep people they want to use around for their own devices. I am sorry this is happening to you, it is totally unfair to you.
It seems like you’re experiencing a situation where someone may have pretended to care about you, only to lose interest once they had a sexual encounter. This can be quite hurtful and confusing. It’s important to remember that people’s motivations and behaviors can be complex and varied. While there are plenty of potential partners out there, some individuals might not always act with the best intentions. It’s essential to prioritize your emotional well-being and communicate openly with your partner about your feelings and concerns. If someone repeatedly disappears and reappears based on their convenience, it can be a sign of an unhealthy relationship, and it’s crucial to evaluate whether this dynamic is genuinely fulfilling for you.
Most men do not do this but the ones that do performed simple math:
> Girl I want to sleep with will only do so if she thinks it’ll lead to a relationship
> Guy starts faking a relationship
Also most women aren’t down for casual sex with most men only a small group of men.
Women use sex to get love, and men use love to get sex. Fact
As a female, I learned this lesson the hard way:
To have self-respect, self-awareness, and firm boundaries.
And let it be known.
>why pretend for so long to care just for sex when there’s plenty of woman wanting to hook up
I think you overestimate how easy it is for a man to find a woman who just wants to hook up
Make a fake Tinder profile of an average man and see how it goes. After about a month, you should have the answer to this question.
I’m not defending this it’s fucked up, but “plenty of women wanting to hook up”?
Maybe the real key here is actually “wanting to hook up *with us*” I’m sure some have no trouble finding women to hook up with but that’s just not the case for the vast majority of men, leading to some doing whatever works
Not that it’s an excuse to do shitty things like that still but it’s also delusional to think most men could just find hook ups easily if that’s what they’re looking for
The better question is why do you keep taking him back?
I realize I am of an older generation so hopefully you won’t just dismiss my comments. Unfortunately too many men and yes women may be too slavishly ruled by their hormones. If that relationship is so greatly based on mostly the physical it will eventually fall apart. No one stays young and beautiful forever…sadly. It may last a little while you are young but remember like a bee going from flower to flower they will flutter and fly to the next beautiful flower. Unfortunately too many don’t realize that it’s not all looks. Try to find someone that really loves you, considers you a very good friend and then decide where you want to go. I honestly think there are men that want a relationship but we have made sex so cheap and easy to find many have become ruled by their physical desires. What makes a smart man is someone who though he may be attracted to your outer beauty realizes it doesn’t last for either one of you and your inner beauty should count for a large part of the equation. Sex without love has no meaning and a smart man is mature enough to find it boring! Hang in there and keep searching…just be careful and stay away from immature creeps
Ok. Ladies I am going to let you in on a secret about men. 1 in three are virgins. 2 of three haven’t had sex in the last year. Men are physically expressive where women are emotionally expressive. Men go through hundreds more rejections than women do and are treated horribly in most rejections, so when the get a woman that shows interest, most men will do anything to get to the sex stage. There arent that many men bagging multiple women. Maybe the top 10% of men have had multiple women. Women are the gate keepers of sex and can get it anytime they want. Men have to work hard to earn a single night. You ask the wrong question. It isn’t why do men pretend to love… It is why do women give sex at all before they are sure the guy is worth fucking?
I hate that men do this and I agree that it sucks and it’s wrong, but let’s have real talk. Sex is not easy to get as a man, so if we can find a gullible woman unfortunately we see it as a opportunity. Women do this to men too, only it’s not for sex, but for other things like get bills paid, expensive dinners, trips, and of course money in general. You think those dudes that join only fans can get sex? Hell no, it’s not as easy as you think for men. Men that get laid all the time are blessed. Men that can’t get laid are invisible to women. Women think men are dogs because they only count the men that they are interested in, which means that women like to pick the same guy’s over and over again and expect change. So hopefully in the future you will pick the men that are actually good and not the ones that appear to be kool and have options of women to play with. Good luck.
I wouldn’t, that’s pretty scummy. Been in those shoes though. They don’t feel me, but want to feel me…
Don’t need any more senseless heartaches.
Because Sex feels good and love is not real
Depends how attractive she is and how difficult I find sex to attain if she weren’t available. If I’ve been going home alone for the last 5 years and she’s anything north of a 6 out of 10, I’ll fucking learn to love her.
Give the guy a break he’s having a hard time juggling three wife’s, two mistresses, and one side piece.