Dating .. overthinking .. self worth. Help?

I’ve been cheated on, was told I was used, humiliated.

I want to date .. I want a relationship and all that but I can never get past the talking stage.

I know it’s cause I can’t be sweet.. if I know they’re not interested I have no problem lol but if they are million things cross my mind. For example he’s sweet and calls me cute names .. I automatically think he’s love bombing or is being fake to get in my pants.

I know I’m self sabotaging and I can’t stop. I can’t be myself.

For example I met a guy on a dating app the end of august. We talked and through text he caught my sarcasm. He planned the date, picked the movie, and paid (I’ve never had that btw. And it’s probably bare minimum. But I haven’t even had the bare minimum done to me). The night was fun. He kept mentioning that he wanted to kiss me and I even gave him a chance but he didn’t take it or didn’t get the hint. He left the next morning back home (was here for work). We have continued to text (that is all no calls or FT). He has left me on read/unread for hours or couple days. I have done the same and I’m not complaining because we’re nothing. He hasn’t asked for pictures or has tried to talk sexual to me (like two memes). I had planned to visit his state later next month.

He just let me know he’ll be back in my state before my trip (for work) and was like so what are we doing. Automatically in my head I’m like what’s the point on planning anything because he prob just wants to fuck. I’m scared to suggest something because I’m scared I’ll get rejected and he’ll just want me to come over or vice versa (I live in a cold state). Also today he’s been calling me bro .. twice and now my brain is like he lost interest. Which I wouldn’t be surprised.

I don’t think I’m ugly but I’m not the prettiest out there. I know he’s on dating apps and that’s okay but I feel like what’s the point of me trying or letting my guard down when he probably has other options. (I’ve matched with others but he was the only one that kept my interest with his humor.)

I’ve been in 3 relationships and all of them cheated on me and stayed with them. Guys I’ve talked to after me found someone.

I know it comes down to self worth/concept. I know I am worth it and I’m pretty and funny but when I get a chance idk why I can’t. I’m also making excuses such as it’ll be long distance. Or what if he matched with someone else here too. Because when we initially started talking he stopped talking to me like at 6 pm ish one day and I didn’t hear from him until the next day at 3 pm ish.

Also he has given me none physical compliments such as “our kids will be in good hands” when I posted a video of my niece and I. (We talk though IG but I do have his number, idk if that’s a red flag?). He does not like my stories when I have posted selfies. So that’s another thing I overthink. He did mention that he liked looking at my pictures before. Called me beautiful once. If he did over did it my brain would be like he’s love bombing me and only wants one thing, so I’m screwed no matter what.

I guess i don’t really know what the point of this is because I’m self aware. Hopefully this makes sense to someone.

I compared it to my toxic ex because he really did love bomb me and this guy is not like him.

I guess I should also mention he doesn’t ask how I am doing but to be fair I don’t either. He doesn’t post on IG stories nor page.

Also I’m scared that if we do meet up while he’s here that it won’t go right and that I ruin my trip to his state. I have everything paid for. I’m not going alone so it won’t be wasted but they were planned for the intentions of seeing him.

Im scared to get hurt but I know if I don’t try I’ll never get that love that I deserve. But idk how to not self sabotage and let my guard down.