I want a relationship more than anything.

Hello, I’m 18, male, ftm specifically. I feel like an idiot for posting on here because I’m so young and everyone on here is older, but I really just want a relationship. I want to feel comforted after a long day of school and work, I want to feel helped. I want to be able to tell someone my weird, paranoid thoughts and have them comfort me, but nobody will. It always starts off nice, and sweet. And the honeymoon phase ends and I always try my best. I’m calm and I’m responsible, and if I cause a fight I’m always the first to say sorry. I want a relationship with someone who wants me for me. I want to be friends with someone, and just exist with them. I want to feel happy with a person. I’m perfectly content alone, but that’s the thing, its lonely. I’ve been lonely ever since I had to move to another state after my junior year. I want to be with someone and have them love me. And love them too. Is that really so hard?
TLDR; I want someone to call me a good boy and give me kisses 😭