I (M, 25) am having one of the biggest problem in my life, ever. Recently, I’ve been noticing that I’m always having negative thoughts and emotions when it comes to my SO (F, 26), like, I’d get mad, angry, frustrated when she didn’t tell me where she’s going, when she didn’t told me something fully, like at one time, her ex suddenly texted her, but she didn’t told me what he fully conversed with her, and even that was during a later time where she told me that he said certain things and is kinda trying to get back with her. I was frustrated that she’d not told me she conversed with him, I thought that she’d just seen the message. Then I also got angry that she still saved his number, even after a long time, even after she got a new number.
I’d get angry that when she’s bored with me, she’d go and have fun with her friends, laughing and being happy. It’s like, I know I’m boring, but I just thought that she’d wanna spend time with me. You see how f’ed up my mind is right now? And these are just some of the examples.
I love her so so much, and I don’t want my head to ruin anything good that we have going. I don’t want to be the source of her pain, misery or sadness.
How can I fix myself? I’m just really clueless and I want to make things better.
Tldr; I don’t want to ruin this relationship with my f’d up mind. How can I fix this relationship?
2 comments
If your GF is the only thing going on in your life, you’re doing it wrong. If any GF is your highest priority, you’re doing it wrong.
Get a (better) job. Get a hobby. Find new interests. The more of your own energy you put into yourselve the better off you’ll be when you’re actually ready for a relationship.
It sounds like most of this stems from a deep insecurity you feel about yourself. Do you feel like you aren’t good enough? That is where I’d focus my attention, don’t put it all on her or think this is a GF problem. It’s definitely a you problem, and that means you’ve got to work on you and being pleased with who you are as a person and what you can offer in a relationship.