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3-Strikes-System:
Make 3 attempts to start a conversation. If she is not matching your energy like boring or one-worded messages… just ghost.
M
Don’t fear rejection. It’s not an insult…just an acknowledgement it probably wouldn’t have worked. It’s actually a good thing in a way
If you’re confused, anxious, or in doubt, then you’re mismatching or this person isn’t into you or right for you. When it’s right, it’s effortless and they give you clarity.
See them for who/what they are right now, not who you think they could be eventually. If you can’t accept them, don’t date them.
Imagine you have a daughter and she meets a young man who is just like you and she falls in love with him. Did you smile? If not, change.
As a man, best advice I received is “your biggest power lies in your ability to walk away”. Too many men in general are afraid to walk away from dating a woman who they are interested in even if they can clearly see incompatibilities and/or bad behavior. It’s like they are afraid they will never be able to find another woman.
M32.
* They help you when they like you. They’re available, they’ll counter offer when they are busy and they will try to do what they can to get to see you.
* Don’t rush into rejection and take it slow. Till death do us apart lasts a long time with the person that wants to keep you and there’s plenty of time to do everything. Make sure you pick a good one.
* Dating is supposed to be fun. Stay away from negative, put downs, politics and religion. If your date’s laughing she’ll be more comfortable.
Just show up as yourself. Don’t try to be someone you’re not. If they’re not into you for the person you are, then neither of you will be happy in the long run.
1. People tell you who they are, trust them
2. You cant be interesting till someone’s interested
3. Dating shouldn’t be your be all end all
4. If they like you, They’ll make time for you
5. Kindness is contagious
6. It’s a game of compatibility and honesty, nothing else
If your brain, heart, and dick ain’t in sync, you’re not in love.
If she is into you, things will be easy. If you feel mixed signals, she is not.
“Do you like him?” I get so focused on “does he like me”
also…
“If he loves you, you will know. If he doesn’t, you’ll be confused.”
26F here.
Take mixed signals and ghosting phases as a no.
Stop giving out 2nd, 3rd, 4th chances.
Logic over emotion. Just because you have chemistry doesn’t mean he’s good for you, and just because he doesn’t give you butterflies doesn’t mean you can’t grow to love him.
“Don’t waste your time on men who only care about your boobs”. Grandma was right, but it took me a few shitty relationships to realize it.
Love is not suposed to be painfull.
35m.
Don’t be afraid of rejection because every woman likes different things and, you might be exactly what she wants.
34M
This applies both to men and women, but always go for at least the second date if you generally had fun, they are generally attractive to you, and there were no glaring red flags. Fireworks or the Spark are pretty much BS as a gauge for a potential relationship.
One reason people seem to stay single for longer than they need to is that everyone seems to always be on the lookout for “better.”
Identify what really matters, get 80% of the most important stuff, and let go of the last 20%. Don’t let go of 80% to try and find the last 20%. You probably won’t find it.
Female. Not exclusively applicable to dating: Once contempt gets into a relationship, it becomes almost impossible to salvage it.
Rejection is redirection.
People tell you who they are. Don’t ignore it.
If you feel confused by their actions, they’re not interested.
Don’t get upset with what is out of your control.
Woman, bisexual.
Take it slow. If they’re genuinely interested they will want to get to know you. Those looking for a hookup will get bored and move on.
Know your firm boundaries and don’t allow anyone to pressure you on these. But be openminded about everything else.
Let people in. If you keep your walls up you cannot adequately determine compatibility.
There is no such thing as failure in dating, just lack of compatibility. If they’re not into you, that’s ok.
M- Dating should not be hard. Be yourself, have fun don’t be too serious and don’t take it personally if it doesn’t work out. Take things slowly, don’t rush. Don’t force a relationship because you want one, be able to walk away. Enjoy the ride, if it is meant to be it will become reality.
only YOU are in charge of your happiness. Don’t give this power to anybody else
Female.
If you weren’t dating them, ask yourself “would I even be friends with this person?”
30F. Don’t drive your emotions too far. Cool down first, then communicate your feelings. Apologize when you’re wrong.
29F
Don’t be afraid to say how you feel. I struggled a long time with this and have now been happier since now I say exactly what I’m feeling. Communication is key.
Short back story:
I’m a guy and 36 now.
When I was in my early 20’s, I worked in a coffee shop and there was a cute girl that came in. After she got her order she stuck around for a while. We chatted for a bit and then I thought, *what the hell, I’ll go for it.*
I asked “can I have your number” her eyes lit up and then I finished the sentence with “to hang out sometime.” The light drained from her eyes. Even though she looked profoundly disappointed, she still gave me her number. I called her and made plans to go out to dinner. We met up and had a great time.
About half way into the meal she said, “Let me give you some advice. Don’t ask a woman to ‘hangout.’ Be up front and the next time you ask for a lady’s number, just say, ‘Can I have your number? I’d love to take you out on a date.'”
I have never strayed from this. Whether we meet online or in-person, whether it’s coffee, drinks, or dinner, from the initial ask I always make sure to ask them out on a **date**. Not only does it make it abundantly clear that you are going on a date it also displays confidence.
Try it out next time and every time after that.